Part of getting divorced is cutting expenses.  As a result, I no longer have cable, which has led to Netflix binges.  I’ve just finished the first season of the Gilmore Girls, which I had never watched before, but am completely taken by.  When I first started watching I was very unsure of Lorelai.  She seemed totally irresponsible, silly and immature.  Of course I admired her looks, and her friendly relationship with her daughter, but as a grown up?  No way.  By the end of season 1 though, I got it, and she is everything I want to be.

To begin with, she has endless energy.   Yes, much of it comes from coffee consumption, but even with massive amounts of coffee I have little to no energy.

She feels no shame.  She is proud of the mistakes she has made and how she used them to grow and become a whole person.  Aren’t we all supposed to feel that way?

She speaks her mind.  To everyone and anyone.  She never holds back.  Whether it’s to an authority figure, a child, an employee, or even her own parents, she says what she’s thinking.

She’s witty.  And quick thinking.

She does not apologize.

She does not obsess.

She likes herself.

She understands other people and is empathetic when necessary.

She and her daughter share the same interests, and, as a result, substantial time together.

She is not dependent on a man.  At all.

She eats whatever she wants.

She drives a jeep.

She has Personal Boundaries and self compassion.

 

Yes, I know – she’s a fictional character.  I’m not totally off my rocker; I hope.

Here’s my idea:  I want a  Lorelia Gillmore chip implanted in my brain.  Anytime I start to have a meltdown, start to doubt myself, start to let someone walk all over me, or give in to the cacophony of negative voices in my head, the Lorelia Gillmore chip takes over and I’m her.  Not Forever.  I’m not that crazy.  (I think.)  Just to get me through that situation.  Just long enough to silence the noise in my head, to squash the doubt and fear.

And again – I know she is a fictional character…….but, there are actual people out there like her.  How did they get that way?  And why aren’t I that way?   And, most importantly, why can’t I be that way?

Where is my Lorelia chip?????