As a teen my family spent hours in family therapy. I was the focus, as I was the "problem". I was the 1st of my siblings to fall apart, calling attention to our family. As I deteriorated, we were all forced into increasingly awkward hourly sessions, during which my parents recounted my transgressions and called … Continue reading Stories Become History
divorce
Is Seven Years Enough?
Yesterday was my middle son's birthday. He was with his dad. He was there an unusually long time, and he came home very excited; again, unusual. He showed me a flash drive that his dad had given him. Apparently his dad had a video camera from the early years of our marriage, and he'd moved … Continue reading Is Seven Years Enough?
Divorcing a Narcissist: The Aftermath
In the US we are currently witnessing a narcissistic, powerful, wealthy man lose his status. Many have wondered if his young wife will divorce him. My children were laughing about how well off she'd be if she did divorce him. Having divorced a narcissist, I'm very aware of the price we pay, and the actual … Continue reading Divorcing a Narcissist: The Aftermath
Sex & the Covert Narcissist 2.0
I wrote Sex & the Covert Narc four years ago, and it continues to be my most often read entry. I decided it was time to update my thoughts in regards to sex. If you read my 1st blog you know that sex was one of the triggers my ex used. When I was … Continue reading Sex & the Covert Narcissist 2.0
Life After Long Term Narcissistic Abuse
I spent 24 with a covert narcissist. This was after growing up with a covert narcissist and an alcoholic. I am 6 years, 3 months from the date my covert narc moved out, and I believe I am now in the final stage of recovery. Of course I thought I was in the last … Continue reading Life After Long Term Narcissistic Abuse
The Permanence Of Heartbreak
(background info- my brothers beach house is next door to my mothers, and there is constant competition about who is staying with her, and she gets pretty crazy when I stay with my brother, which I do most often because, well...she's sort of crazy) Five years later there are still times I can't breathe. … Continue reading The Permanence Of Heartbreak
Divorcing a Narcissist – Ultimate Cluster***k
This is for one of my BFF's, who is taking the initial steps towards divorcing her narc. HANG IN THERE! Remember when I brought enough alcohol for 3 of us to the ball field, then drank it all myself and your son had to drive me home? Remember me crying when he stopped … Continue reading Divorcing a Narcissist – Ultimate Cluster***k
Words and Narcissistic Abuse
I didn't understand the power of words until I started recovering from narcissistic abuse. My therapist started dissecting my language, and slowly I learned how toxic the narc (and other disordered people) are in their use of language. I had put this issue aside until a co-worker started going through the separation/divorce process. She started … Continue reading Words and Narcissistic Abuse
Revenge
It took about 1 year for me to realize I had been married to, and was now divorcing, a covert narcissist. Memories flooded back. I had a hard time figuring out where to put the feelings, heartbreak and regret; hence this blog. At one point I wrote The Tractor. It was partially autobiographical but mostly … Continue reading Revenge
Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist
I have a good friend with whom I share many of my inner most thoughts, pretty or not. One of these thoughts was the idea that I wanted to "win" my divorce. I've decided (hopefully) that this is a very human, not at all unusual thought, especially among those who have been abused. It was … Continue reading Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist
Groomed but Escaped 