I didn't understand the power of words until I started recovering from narcissistic abuse. My therapist started dissecting my language, and slowly I learned how toxic the narc (and other disordered people) are in their use of language. I had put this issue aside until a co-worker started going through the separation/divorce process. She started … Continue reading Words and Narcissistic Abuse
I thought I would feel vindicated when my children finally figured out their narcissistic father. Instead, I just feel sad. The younger two have known for a while who and what their dad is. Not much has changed for them. My eldest is the one I've worried about. My ex always spent the most … Continue reading The Narcissistic Father
It took about 1 year for me to realize I had been married to, and was now divorcing, a covert narcissist. Memories flooded back. I had a hard time figuring out where to put the feelings, heartbreak and regret; hence this blog. At one point I wrote The Tractor. It was partially autobiographical but mostly … Continue reading Revenge
(see update at bottom) I grew up with people subject to rage, and then married a man who did the same thing. Here's the thing about rage: it's all about control. Rage is not an expression of anger, it is a show put on by a disordered person, designed to flip the script; to … Continue reading Rage
I have a good friend with whom I share many of my inner most thoughts, pretty or not. One of these thoughts was the idea that I wanted to "win" my divorce. I've decided (hopefully) that this is a very human, not at all unusual thought, especially among those who have been abused. It was … Continue reading Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist
I had a very difficult winter. If you read my blog regularly you might have noticed I stopped writing. I was struggling with a lingering virus (remember-if you are the victim of a narcissist your health is compromised), but that was not the whole story. I am increasingly aware of the long term impact of … Continue reading Long Term Impact of Narcissist
I was advised, early in my divorce, to take control of the process. Close accounts, force issues, freeze assets, etc. I didn't, because I was conditioned to not threaten my narcissist. I had been taught to think that revenge would be horrible. I say conditioned because in retrospect, I can count on 1 hand the … Continue reading Be Proactive with Narcissist
REVENGE People say that the best revenge after divorce is to live your best life. While it's not perfect, I am definitely living the best life I've ever lived. I still struggle with my health (life long battle thanks to the steady barrage of gas lighting from my ex narc), but aside from that, … Continue reading The Narcissist-Four Years Later
I have a cat and a dog, both of whom I love. My dog has been plastered by my side through chemo, divorce, moving: every moment of the 10 years she's been with me. When I've been too sick to walk her she runs outside, does her business and gets right back in bed … Continue reading Cats, Dogs & Sexism
My children (3 boys, 26, 23 & 17) and I were trying to figure out a weekend to go visit their grandparents. The older 2 have full time jobs, Monday through Friday. The task seemed as simple as picking a weekend to make the 2 hour drive, but it was complicated by my middle son. … Continue reading The Sociable Introvert
