Shame is a new concept for me. I lived it, but I never understood it. From as early as I can remember I've felt a deep sense of shame, a belief that I was inherently such a bad human I deserved nothing. As a child I was called "practically perfect". My family thought this was … Continue reading Narcissists Feed On Shame
self growth
Overt Versus Covert Narcissist
The Circus versus the Magician I just spent time with my uncle, a bon-a-fide covert narcissist of the somatic sub-type (obsessed with his looks & physical prowess). I had planned to work on implementing boundaries, but it took little time to realize I was fighting a losing battle. At the end of my time … Continue reading Overt Versus Covert Narcissist
Are We Our Stuff?
I've spent the last 2 years selling, giving away and trashing most of my "stuff", and it feels great! I love how empty my house looks, I love the freedom I have now that I don't have to take care of so many things, and I love feeling unencumbered. I am still very tied down, … Continue reading Are We Our Stuff?
Delusion, Meet Reality
I am surrounded by well meaning family & friends, all of whom want the best for me. I am also part of a yoga community, which wants the best for everyone, and I belong to cancer and divorce support groups on FB. All of these sources together have thrust me into a world of delusion, … Continue reading Delusion, Meet Reality
My Stupid Inner Critic
At therapy this week my therapist said "we have to get rid of that inner critic, always putting you down" and the 1st thought that popped into my head was "I know. I'm so stupid for doing that". What a predicament! How can I get rid of the voice that constantly criticizes me, when I'm … Continue reading My Stupid Inner Critic
Personality Traits: Both Good & Bad
The Real Me - I've been trying to figure out who I am. I was the bad seed in my family; the one who didn't quite fit but gave others a great laugh (not with, but at). I've worked hard all of my life to not be who I am, and now that I'd … Continue reading Personality Traits: Both Good & Bad
Forgiveness: Not For The Narcissist
I'm feeling a bit angry right now. If you don't follow my blog, here's the key points to know: 1) I spent 25 years with, and am now divorcing, a covert narcissist 2) Yoga has become one of my coping techniques 3) I live in a small community, and me & the ex-narc have … Continue reading Forgiveness: Not For The Narcissist
Mt. Everest
I've been writing about my recovery (much more than what I've posted) and it dawned on me that this Trek we are on, recovering from narcissistic abuse, might be similar to submitting Mt. Everest. Once the idea occurred to me I started reading up on Everest and I am stunned by much of what I … Continue reading Mt. Everest
My AHA! Moment
If happened this morning! All of the writing, reading, talking, meditating, ruminating, examining and yoga all came together this morning and I GOT IT! It has taken a long time to get here, and I know I am still a work in progress, but I finally feel like it's a journey worth taking. I want … Continue reading My AHA! Moment
The Magic of the Covert Narcissist
It's like magic, what the covert narcissist (CN) does to your head. Today is a great example of how it works. I started my day feeling pretty good. I felt strong, capable, not bad looking for my age, and, believe it or not, Happy. I went to yoga and saw people who I feel … Continue reading The Magic of the Covert Narcissist
Groomed but Escaped 