I can’t even believe I’m writing this…..

I’ve been on disability since 2010.  This will never change.  I have an unidentified glitch in my immune system and, combined with my allergies, asthma , and COPD, I suffer repeated bouts of lung/sinus infections.  In case you need a visual of how this results in disability, my spouse had to fire me from our jointly owned business because I couldn’t be relied upon to cover the shifts I was given.  (technically he didn’t “fire” me; we jointly agreed that it was no longer feasible to employ me given my unreliability)

I am not happy about being on disability.  It sucks that after earning a Master’s degree and having some really good jobs I’ve been reduced to a life as a consumer, not a producer.  I’ve been yearning for a job that is only a few hours a week, flexible, has no deadlines and can wait for 4 days if I’m sick.   Not surprisingly, these are few and far between.  Today I was offered that job.  And, it’s at my yoga studio, a place I love to be.

Here’s the Grrrrr part…..

The court has recommended that I and my son get 43% of our families income, while my hopefully soon to be ex retains 57%.  Yes, this is how divorce works in America.

If I take this job, which I really want, I will keep 43% of the income and he will get 57%.   Those wages will added into our “family income”, the math will be done, and he will get a reduction in alimony.

I’m trying really hard to re-frame this in my head.  I’m trying not to focus on the fact that my working will allow him and his GF to go out even more, because I really want the job, but man.   Arghhhhh!

Here I am, 55 years old and well educated, yet the words I rely on the most lately are Grrrrr & arghhhhh.  & I’ll add a WTF just for a bit of emphasis.

 

PS:  My ex bastard has not even agreed to the 43/57% yet.  I’m guessing he won’t as he’ll see it as unfair to him.  So yes, there’s that.

The clusterfuck continues.