If you are connected to a narcissist, you probably wrestle with your shadow self. Some aspects of our shadow self are survival instincts no longer necessary to survive. The most toxic parts of our shadow self though come from parents. If you were raised by a narcissist or other disordered person, you have been … Continue reading Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
recovery
The Narcissistic Father
I thought I would feel vindicated when my children finally figured out their narcissistic father. Instead, I just feel sad. The younger two have known for a while who and what their dad is. Not much has changed for them. My eldest is the one I've worried about. My ex always spent the most … Continue reading The Narcissistic Father
Revenge
It took about 1 year for me to realize I had been married to, and was now divorcing, a covert narcissist. Memories flooded back. I had a hard time figuring out where to put the feelings, heartbreak and regret; hence this blog. At one point I wrote The Tractor. It was partially autobiographical but mostly … Continue reading Revenge
Long Term Impact of Narcissist
I had a very difficult winter. If you read my blog regularly you might have noticed I stopped writing. I was struggling with a lingering virus (remember-if you are the victim of a narcissist your health is compromised), but that was not the whole story. I am increasingly aware of the long term impact of … Continue reading Long Term Impact of Narcissist
Be Proactive with Narcissist
I was advised, early in my divorce, to take control of the process. Close accounts, force issues, freeze assets, etc. I didn't, because I was conditioned to not threaten my narcissist. I had been taught to think that revenge would be horrible. I say conditioned because in retrospect, I can count on 1 hand the … Continue reading Be Proactive with Narcissist
Cats, Dogs & Sexism
I have a cat and a dog, both of whom I love. My dog has been plastered by my side through chemo, divorce, moving: every moment of the 10 years she's been with me. When I've been too sick to walk her she runs outside, does her business and gets right back in bed … Continue reading Cats, Dogs & Sexism
The Sociable Introvert
My children (3 boys, 26, 23 & 17) and I were trying to figure out a weekend to go visit their grandparents. The older 2 have full time jobs, Monday through Friday. The task seemed as simple as picking a weekend to make the 2 hour drive, but it was complicated by my middle son. … Continue reading The Sociable Introvert
Cheaters & Liars
Strange story - in the last episode of the Connor's Jackie figured out that her boyfriend was cheating on her, and she kicked him to the curb. Watching this took me down memory lane. Everything he says to her is something my ex said to me. Things like: if you accuse me of cheating you're … Continue reading Cheaters & Liars
What I Meant to Do…..
In the weeks leading up to Christmas I told my children I was making cheese steak egg rolls & other picky foods for Christmas dinner. They loved the idea. They were especially excited for the cheese steak egg rolls, and they talked about it every time we saw each other in the weeks leading … Continue reading What I Meant to Do…..
Finding Myself in Silence
I returned from a solo trip to Mexico 5 days ago. I went to be part of the Dia De Los Muertos celebrations (day of the dead). It turned out that this celebration was the least impactful part of the trip. I've been struggling to put into words what I discovered, but how do … Continue reading Finding Myself in Silence
Groomed but Escaped 