I’d like to start a new trend. People often talk about their bucket list, but very few talk about what they don’t want to do. Living with ongoing health issues and limited energy and focus after chemo, I have come to the realization that it is more important for me to not waste time and energy on things I don’t really want to do. Many of these things are activities that my family loves, and repeatedly try to engage me in. These include the following.
Things You Love that I Do Not
- Golf. Just, no. No miniature golf, no 9 hole golf, no golf lessons, no driving range.
- Kayaking. Not in the ocean, not in the bay, not on a river, just no I say.
- House Tours. Why? I find it rather bizarre that you like to ogle complete strangers’ homes.
- Home Improvement Conventions. Code for covert sale of outrageously priced unnecessary home “improvements”.
- Sight seeing in Major Cities. I get it – humans have build numerous beautiful cities, many of which have been around for centuries. I’ll enjoy the pictures online thank you.
- Flower Show Conventions. Yes, I love flowers. Yes, large spaces filled with high humidity, moldy soil and actual algae make me unable to breath. And, for the record, this will be the same next year.
- Cross Country Skiing. Or for that matter, anything in a cold environment. Except sitting around the fire place with hot chocolate.
- NYC New Years Eve. The last time I went out on New Years Eve I was filled with regret the next morning, when my 4 month old howled at 6AM. It’s just a day, like the other 364 days in each year. It is a night manufactured by businesses, like Valentine’s day, or Mother’s day. For me, every day is New Year’s Eve, especially if I’m in my pj’s by 9:00.
My other list includes things you think I’m really good at and should therefore pursue. It has taken me years to understand that these are compliments, not insults. I used to interpret these statements as covert ways of saying “you’re not doing enough”. I understand now that you are really saying “hey, you’re really good at this”. And, if you are saying I’m not doing enough, I’ll put that on my list of things to ponder – while not doing anything.
Things You Think I Should Do
- Start My Own Business. Sell your jewelry, sell the things you sew, your gluten free bread. NO. I’ve owned a business and have no intention of ever doing so again.
- Go Back to School. This is the only NO that I struggle with. I loved school, especially at the graduate level. School, though, does not feed my soul.
- Get a Teaching Job. Yes, I loved the time I spent coaching students. I loved the time I spent in my 20’s working with children. I loved having my children. Now, though, I love my health, and maintaining it is a full time job.
- Become a Yoga Teacher. I love doing yoga. I have no intention of ruining that by teaching yoga.
I’m not a lazy, uninteresting person. I am a person who understands the gift of time, and the fact that at any second that gift will be gone. I also know what I value and enjoy. Pyramids? I’m there! Windsor Castle? No thank you. Redwood forest? In a heart beat. Eiffel Tower? No interest. Any part of Italy? Not me. Costa Rica? Let’s go – today.
I guess I am different then most people. I know what interests me and what doesn’t, and I have no intention of wasting time on things that don’t interest me. I bless the people who feel they have the time to spare. You make the world go round, and most economies need you. Keep up the good work!
Me though, I’m good thanks. Send me your pictures!