(see update at bottom) I grew up with people subject to rage, and then married a man who did the same thing. Here's the thing about rage: it's all about control. Rage is not an expression of anger, it is a show put on by a disordered person, designed to flip the script; to … Continue reading Rage
narcissist
Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist
I have a good friend with whom I share many of my inner most thoughts, pretty or not. One of these thoughts was the idea that I wanted to "win" my divorce. I've decided (hopefully) that this is a very human, not at all unusual thought, especially among those who have been abused. It was … Continue reading Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist
Long Term Impact of Narcissist
I had a very difficult winter. If you read my blog regularly you might have noticed I stopped writing. I was struggling with a lingering virus (remember-if you are the victim of a narcissist your health is compromised), but that was not the whole story. I am increasingly aware of the long term impact of … Continue reading Long Term Impact of Narcissist
Be Proactive with Narcissist
I was advised, early in my divorce, to take control of the process. Close accounts, force issues, freeze assets, etc. I didn't, because I was conditioned to not threaten my narcissist. I had been taught to think that revenge would be horrible. I say conditioned because in retrospect, I can count on 1 hand the … Continue reading Be Proactive with Narcissist
Cheaters & Liars
Strange story - in the last episode of the Connor's Jackie figured out that her boyfriend was cheating on her, and she kicked him to the curb. Watching this took me down memory lane. Everything he says to her is something my ex said to me. Things like: if you accuse me of cheating you're … Continue reading Cheaters & Liars
What I Meant to Do…..
In the weeks leading up to Christmas I told my children I was making cheese steak egg rolls & other picky foods for Christmas dinner. They loved the idea. They were especially excited for the cheese steak egg rolls, and they talked about it every time we saw each other in the weeks leading … Continue reading What I Meant to Do…..
It’s All About The Guest List
Just a quick thought for the holidays....... I used to get super stressed about Christmas. I wanted so badly for it to be perfect that by the time the day was there I was sick. Every single year. And every year my (now) ex would look at me, a puzzled look on his … Continue reading It’s All About The Guest List
Love Bombing
Dirty John While I've accepted that I was love bombed by a covert narcissist, I still struggle with how it happened. In retrospect, everything was so clear. His actions did not match his words, he lied to everyone around him in order to see me, he went through jobs like others go through socks and … Continue reading Love Bombing
Tips & Tricks-Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
Those taking on the challenge of climbing Mt. Everest arrive at base camp between March & April. They spend a few weeks at base camp, acclimatizing to the altitude, taking short day trips, getting to know their companions and, I assume, learning tips and tricks for the dangerous climb ahead. I can't imagine traversing the … Continue reading Tips & Tricks-Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse
Often the most dangerous part of climbing Mt Everest is the descent. By the time the climber begins her descent she is exhausted yet exhilarated. This is a dangerous combination. On the one hand the climber feels invincible. On the other hand, she is really too tired and overwhelmed with emotion to make rational choices. … Continue reading Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse
Groomed but Escaped 