The Permanence Of Heartbreak

(background info- my brothers beach house is next door to my mothers, and there is constant competition about who is staying with her, and she gets pretty crazy when I stay with my brother, which I do most often because, well...she's sort of crazy)   Five years later there are still times I  can't breathe.  … Continue reading The Permanence Of Heartbreak

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Divorcing a Narcissist – Ultimate Cluster***k

This is for one of my BFF's, who is taking the initial steps towards divorcing her narc.   HANG IN THERE!   Remember when I brought enough alcohol for 3 of us to the ball field, then drank it all myself and your son had to drive me home? Remember me crying when he stopped … Continue reading Divorcing a Narcissist – Ultimate Cluster***k

Going Gray with Narcissists/Toxic People

  Going gray is considered the best, perhaps only way, to deal with narcissists and other toxic people.  This is easy if you are completely breaking ties with someone you can walk away from.  But what about the people in your life you can't escape? Two summers ago I had a major altercation with my … Continue reading Going Gray with Narcissists/Toxic People

Words and Narcissistic Abuse

I didn't understand the power of words until I started recovering from narcissistic abuse.  My therapist started dissecting my language, and slowly I learned how toxic the narc (and other disordered people) are in their use of language.  I had put this issue aside until a co-worker started going through the separation/divorce process.  She started … Continue reading Words and Narcissistic Abuse

Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist

I have a good friend with whom I share many of my inner most thoughts, pretty or not.  One of these thoughts was the idea that I wanted to "win" my divorce.  I've decided (hopefully) that this is a very human, not at all unusual thought, especially among those who have been abused. It was … Continue reading Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist

Long Term Impact of Narcissist

I had a very difficult winter.  If you read my blog regularly you might have noticed I stopped writing.  I was struggling with a lingering virus (remember-if you are the victim of a narcissist your health is compromised), but that was not the whole story. I am increasingly aware of the long term impact of … Continue reading Long Term Impact of Narcissist

Be Proactive with Narcissist

I was advised, early in my divorce, to take control of the process.  Close accounts, force issues, freeze assets, etc.  I didn't, because I was conditioned to not threaten my narcissist.  I had been taught to think that revenge would be horrible.  I say conditioned because in retrospect, I can count on 1 hand the … Continue reading Be Proactive with Narcissist