I am on the last of 4 teenage boys. I learned early on that boys require a special sort of patience, because they bring with them a level of hostility unrivaled by the angriest of all creatures. This morning was a perfect example. As I was dropping my 18 year old off at school … Continue reading Snarling Teenage Boys
feelings
Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
If you are connected to a narcissist, you probably wrestle with your shadow self. Some aspects of our shadow self are survival instincts no longer necessary to survive. The most toxic parts of our shadow self though come from parents. If you were raised by a narcissist or other disordered person, you have been … Continue reading Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
Rage
(see update at bottom) I grew up with people subject to rage, and then married a man who did the same thing. Here's the thing about rage: it's all about control. Rage is not an expression of anger, it is a show put on by a disordered person, designed to flip the script; to … Continue reading Rage
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I have struggled with my bosses. According to my therapist, I am expecting people who have consistently demonstrated that they don't have my back, to have my back. An old pattern of mine, and the definition of crazy! This weekend was my Ovarian Cancer walk. The walk is held by a foundation I support all … Continue reading Actions Speak Louder Than Words
How to Spot a Narcissist/Toxic Person
I was talking to my cousin, and she told me about a group of "friends" she and her husband had enjoyed over the years. Initially they shared a common bond - Marching Band. In case you are unfamiliar, being a Band Parent is practically a full time job. A lack of funds means the parents … Continue reading How to Spot a Narcissist/Toxic Person
Why It’s so Easy for the Narc to Screw Us
When I went to settlement, unloading the "home" I'd owned with my ex- narcissist, I found out that I was being held solely responsible for all outstanding fees, interest, and penalties on our mortgage. Having been put through the wringer by Bank of America I was pissed off. I wrote my lawyer explaining everything BoA … Continue reading Why It’s so Easy for the Narc to Screw Us
Passive Aggressive Bullshit
Yes, this is a rant. I am so damned tired of passive aggressive bullshit I want to ...... I don't know what I want to do. I want to run away. I want to not wake up in the morning. I want to never read email, or take care of my home or my … Continue reading Passive Aggressive Bullshit
How Did Your Ex Introduce His Paramour to Your Children?
(As always, substitute her if you are a guy) I thought it might be fun for some of us regulars to share how our ex introduced his adulterer to our kids. I'll go first. I'll tell it from my point of view and his point of view (his in red. Like Scarlet Letter Red) ME: … Continue reading How Did Your Ex Introduce His Paramour to Your Children?
Divorce Hell
Thursday I had a hearing with domestic relations to determine child support/temporary spousal support. This is the 1st hearing my spouse and I have been in with our attorney's, and I've been in bed since. It is shocking how callous the players are in this process. My attorney was appropriate, but his attorney and the … Continue reading Divorce Hell
Overt Versus Covert Narcissist
The Circus versus the Magician I just spent time with my uncle, a bon-a-fide covert narcissist of the somatic sub-type (obsessed with his looks & physical prowess). I had planned to work on implementing boundaries, but it took little time to realize I was fighting a losing battle. At the end of my time … Continue reading Overt Versus Covert Narcissist
Groomed but Escaped 