If happened this morning! All of the writing, reading, talking, meditating, ruminating, examining and yoga all came together this morning and I GOT IT! It has taken a long time to get here, and I know I am still a work in progress, but I finally feel like it's a journey worth taking. I want … Continue reading My AHA! Moment
Wake Up Gurl!
Prince + Yoga
Do Prince and yoga seem like a good combination to you? Not to me. Never the less, I found myself signing up for a pop-up Prince Music Yoga class. I spent the entire day feeling confident I wouldn't actually go. I haven't listened to Prince since his '85 Purple Rain tour. I loved that album. … Continue reading Prince + Yoga
Breaking Up With My Oncologist
I've decided to ditch my oncologist (gyn/oc = gynecological oncologist). The protocol for high grade serous epithelial stage 3B ovarian cancer is 5 years of follow-ups. During those 5 year Dr's are supposed to see you every 3 months, draw a CA125 every 3 months and, if there is a rise in the CA 125 … Continue reading Breaking Up With My Oncologist
Persistent or Tenacious?
I was once asked in a job interview if I considered myself persistent or tenacious. Having no idea what tenacious meant I answered persistent. When I got home and looked up the definition of tenacious, I realized I am usually tenacious; to a fault. Yesterday I was trying to print transfers for shirts and nothing … Continue reading Persistent or Tenacious?
The Magic of the Covert Narcissist
It's like magic, what the covert narcissist (CN) does to your head. Today is a great example of how it works. I started my day feeling pretty good. I felt strong, capable, not bad looking for my age, and, believe it or not, Happy. I went to yoga and saw people who I feel … Continue reading The Magic of the Covert Narcissist
Life Is Not Fair
Remember when we were kids and when we complained "life's not fair"? We'd hear "life's not fair, then you die". Turns out this is not a good thing to say to a child who's mother has cancer. I've said it a few times to my 14 year old, and I finally looked as … Continue reading Life Is Not Fair
Hard Not to Wallow
2 Months before our 23rd anniversary: Divorce requested by him 3/31/14. Denial of affair. Flowers sent to GH 4/4/14; receipt found by me 4/6. 4/14/14 - made him move out; told the kids. 4/2015 - vacation with the GF. Celebrating 1 year official anniversary? 5/2015 - GF introduced to kids. Always with them now. 7/2015 … Continue reading Hard Not to Wallow
To Blog or Not To Blog
I can't decide if I want this blog to be successful or not. In fact, the day I had the most reads, I went into a panic. What if my ex reads this? What if my kids read this? What if my parents read this? What will they think? What will they say? How … Continue reading To Blog or Not To Blog
Fear of Discord
This sums up how I feel. Or rather, try not to feel. Avoid negative emotions at all cost. What I found most interesting is the idea that my brain, in an effort to survive, re-wired itself to be hyper-vigilant for signs of negativity in others, and to react to fix it. How to fix it … Continue reading Fear of Discord
Beginnings & Endings: Clues to Narcissism
I have 23 years of a relationship with a covert narcissist (CN) to dissect, and the question I keep asking my therapist is "are you sure?" How can you be sure he really is a CN, and I'm not just re-writing our story? What proof do you have that I didn't deserve to be treated … Continue reading Beginnings & Endings: Clues to Narcissism
Groomed but Escaped 