This sums up how I feel. Or rather, try not to feel. Avoid negative emotions at all cost. What I found most interesting is the idea that my brain, in an effort to survive, re-wired itself to be hyper-vigilant for signs of negativity in others, and to react to fix it.
How to fix it though?
One thought on “Fear of Discord”
Reblogged this on surfacing-finding your way and commented:
Interesting article-anytime my ex got angry, me and the kids would back down to keep the peace-after the divorce I would feel an overwhelming anxiety attack, stomach in knots, break out in a sweat-all because someone near me was angry. They wouldn’t even be angry with me, just in nearby proximity or sometimes it would happen if I was watching a tv show. I would get so nauseous that I would have to leave or change channels, anything to focus on something else. I had to repeat constantly that their anger was not at me or my fault. It has been 2 years now and it is slowly getting better. My stomach still ties itself in knots when I sense anger, hear raised voices, or sense disapproval, but I ask myself 1. Is it my fault. 2. Are they over reacting. 3.are they going to hurt me physically. I now know I can remove myself from that situation without excuses or apologies until they calm down. People lose their temper over silly stuff and it is not always my job to fix it, calm them down or listen to their rantings.
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