Today I got a "damn girl" from one of the regular's at my yoga studio. It was particularly exciting, because it came from one of the better Yogi's in the class! In case you didn't know, February 4th marked the beginning of the Year of the Monkey. In recognition, our teacher focused class on … Continue reading Yoga Queen
divorce
The Paradox of Fear
Since I've been diagnosed with PSTD, and am about to embark on treatment specific to this issue, I feel compelled to research what this means. EMDR, the current treatment for PSTD, addresses the connections in the many components of our brain. I will be undergoing the same treatment as a soldier returning from war, … Continue reading The Paradox of Fear
The Unaccountable Accountant
Getting divorced is complicated, especially when you are in a situation like mine. My ex and I own a restaurant together. Over the years, as my health worsened, my role decreased and his increased. In the 4 or 5 years before our separation I had little to do with the business, leaving decisions, management and … Continue reading The Unaccountable Accountant
Sidestepping the Pain
I don't want to write about pain anymore. Yes, I am in pain. Every time I think it's gone, it resurfaces, and I wallow. And I'm so, so tired of it! If the only way out is through it, I guess I won't get out, because I'm not going through it anymore. I'm going to … Continue reading Sidestepping the Pain
Are You Saying It’s My Fault?
One of the major issues I had raising children with my narc was his inability to look at himself critically. As the Chosen One of a Narc, I am excessively good at looking at myself critically. Ask me, at any random point in any random day, and I will come up with 20 Major Flaws … Continue reading Are You Saying It’s My Fault?
Congrats: You’re The Chosen One
Congratulations! You have been chosen by a narcissist. I know what you're thinking: hmmm, doesn't seem like this is a Good Thing. Don't you usually congratulate someone for some type of achievement? A promotion, a new baby, a new home, a new degree - these are the types of things you typically gets Congrats … Continue reading Congrats: You’re The Chosen One
Where is My Lorelai Gilmore Chip?
Part of getting divorced is cutting expenses. As a result, I no longer have cable, which has led to Netflix binges. I've just finished the first season of the Gilmore Girls, which I had never watched before, but am completely taken by. When I first started watching I was very unsure of Lorelai. She seemed … Continue reading Where is My Lorelai Gilmore Chip?
Enough
Remember the scene in Love Actually when Mark, who's in love with his best friends wife, Juliet, tells her, via signs, that he is moving on? As he walks away, he says "enough", and it is clear that he has turned the corner. He is done wallowing, he is over pining away for her. Today, … Continue reading Enough
Regrets
For some time after my separation I told myself I had no regrets. I felt such shame and humiliation, this was my only way to reserve what little self-respect I had. What better way to protect your ego then to believe that you have No Regrets, I would do it all the same given the … Continue reading Regrets
Snow, Single Mothers’, Alzheimer’s & Guilt
The largest blizzard I ever lived through was in 1996. I was 7 months pregnant, lived with my ex, our 3 year old, and my 7 year old step son. We lived in a twin on a block made up of other twins, most of which were filled with young children. It was a great … Continue reading Snow, Single Mothers’, Alzheimer’s & Guilt
Groomed but Escaped 