I am surrounded by well meaning family & friends, all of whom want the best for me. I am also part of a yoga community, which wants the best for everyone, and I belong to cancer and divorce support groups on FB. All of these sources together have thrust me into a world of delusion, … Continue reading Delusion, Meet Reality
Divorce
The Lie Sundae: The Narc’s Weapon
The Worse thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth. I recently read these words, by an author I don't know, and I've been thinking about them. I imagine in a healthy relationship this might be true. I've not been in a healthy relationship, so I don't know. Do healthy couples … Continue reading The Lie Sundae: The Narc’s Weapon
Up In Flames
Do you think that the paper dry cleaners use when they preserve your wedding dress is meant to serve as lighter fluid? Because it does! I've been back and forth about what to do with that stupid dress. I threw away the box a while ago, and the dress, in it's plastic laundry bag, has … Continue reading Up In Flames
The Insidious Take Down
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/36952273/posts/1016561972 I happens so gradually, you don't understand what is happening. While it seems to others like he is bragging about your latest accomplishment, you somehow understand what he is really saying: shut it down. This is way too much about you. So there is the stress of being on eggshells on all times, … Continue reading The Insidious Take Down
Hard Not to Wallow
2 Months before our 23rd anniversary: Divorce requested by him 3/31/14. Denial of affair. Flowers sent to GH 4/4/14; receipt found by me 4/6. 4/14/14 - made him move out; told the kids. 4/2015 - vacation with the GF. Celebrating 1 year official anniversary? 5/2015 - GF introduced to kids. Always with them now. 7/2015 … Continue reading Hard Not to Wallow
Start Here
Often I am so overwhelmed with pain, confusion and fear that I make no progress. I see no end to the pain caused by my covert narcissist; I see no future in which I can be happy and whole. It is usually during these weeks that I somehow find a new resource - a website, … Continue reading Start Here
Runaway Mom
Being a mom is a relentless, thankless job. I am happy I have children, I always love them, I am often very proud of them, and sometimes I even like them. But Damn. I left my career when my 3rd son was 6 months old. I tried going back to work, but I was just … Continue reading Runaway Mom
Sex & The Covert Narc
When I first met my narc, the sex (after the 1st few extremely awkward and unsatisfying pairings) was amazing! It was unlike any I'd ever had before. It actually felt as if our souls were merging during the act. He often said that afterwards, that it had been the best sex he'd ever had, … Continue reading Sex & The Covert Narc
the Downside of “The Universe”
Truth Bombs I love yoga, my yoga studio and my yoga peeps. For a time I bought into the idea that "the universe" speaks to us. It is an attractive idea, right? In the same way religious people say their lives are controlled by God, many yoga peeps say our lives are controlled by … Continue reading the Downside of “The Universe”
Taxes & Divorce
While we've been separated for close to 2 years, my ex and I are not close to being divorced. We own a business together, so our finances are not transparent, making divorce very complicated. I intended to file taxes single this year. My original intent was to make sure my son received the maximum amount … Continue reading Taxes & Divorce
Groomed but Escaped 