Remember when we were kids and when we complained "life's not fair"? We'd hear "life's not fair, then you die". Turns out this is not a good thing to say to a child who's mother has cancer. I've said it a few times to my 14 year old, and I finally looked as … Continue reading Life Is Not Fair
cancer
To Blog or Not To Blog
I can't decide if I want this blog to be successful or not. In fact, the day I had the most reads, I went into a panic. What if my ex reads this? What if my kids read this? What if my parents read this? What will they think? What will they say? How … Continue reading To Blog or Not To Blog
Runaway Mom
Being a mom is a relentless, thankless job. I am happy I have children, I always love them, I am often very proud of them, and sometimes I even like them. But Damn. I left my career when my 3rd son was 6 months old. I tried going back to work, but I was just … Continue reading Runaway Mom
Ovarian Cancer
https://www.statnews.com/2016/04/01/ovarian-cancer-failure/ Getting a cancer diagnosis is like being hit by a Mac truck. I got mine while walking my dog, at 4:30 on a lovely July afternoon. At that time I was worried about my 11 year old's baseball game, and my older sons education, when suddenly, BOOM. I had been having stomach pain … Continue reading Ovarian Cancer
Strange Cat Behavior
I haven't written much lately because I'm not feeling well, & this will be a strange post, but I am perplexed. My cat keeps hopping on top of my dresser, going into a basket of miscellaneous stuff, pulling out the turban I wore during chemo, bringing it downstairs, and dropping it next to my desk. … Continue reading Strange Cat Behavior
the Downside of “The Universe”
Truth Bombs I love yoga, my yoga studio and my yoga peeps. For a time I bought into the idea that "the universe" speaks to us. It is an attractive idea, right? In the same way religious people say their lives are controlled by God, many yoga peeps say our lives are controlled by … Continue reading the Downside of “The Universe”
Cats, Dogs, & Self-Esteem
Even my cat's love was an illusion. I always wanted a kitten, but the rest of my family said no. They were dog people. The summer before 5th grade a friend of mine had kittens (actually, her cat had kittens) and I yearned for one of them, but the family consensus was no. I left … Continue reading Cats, Dogs, & Self-Esteem
The Danger of Hope
Hope In Moderation My ex used to call me Debbie Downer. He claimed that I always rained on his parade. It's hard not to believe things you are told over, and over, and over, so I believed it. I was the eternal pessimist, the one afraid to make any type of move, the one questioning … Continue reading The Danger of Hope
Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
It is easy to get through a crisis in the beginning. In the beginning, everyone gathers round and holds you up. Your family drops everything to be at your side, your friends check in on you every day, your children are on their best behavior. You are surrounded by love, and you come to … Continue reading Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
I Think I’m The Problem
It's not a far-fetched idea, that I am the problem. I'm the one here with my boys, day in , day out. If they are on the edge, teetering between happiness and misery, isn't that my doing, not the ex's? He's not here to influence them - I am. And it seems that I'm … Continue reading I Think I’m The Problem
Groomed but Escaped 