The 1st time I had dinner at my ex's home I was surprised. My ex bragged about his father constantly. According to him, his father was his idol. He was a perfect father, husband, employee and Deacon. He was always on the go, leaving at 7AM for work, stopping home for a 15 minute dinner … Continue reading Dinner With The Covert Narc
awakening
Lies Don’t Work Here Anymore
I've been looking into private schools for my 14 year old, who is struggling academically. Last night my eldest started chiding me for this. He said "the problem is that we just aren't as smart as you think we are. We are like dad - we don't think much. We are simple people". My first … Continue reading Lies Don’t Work Here Anymore
My Brain on Trauma
This is hard for me to write, hard for me to say, hard for me to admit. I am a perpetual victim. Of my own making. I knew I didn't handle stressful situations well, but I had no idea that I respond to situations like a victim. Before I tell you what happened, I … Continue reading My Brain on Trauma
Are You Saying It’s My Fault?
One of the major issues I had raising children with my narc was his inability to look at himself critically. As the Chosen One of a Narc, I am excessively good at looking at myself critically. Ask me, at any random point in any random day, and I will come up with 20 Major Flaws … Continue reading Are You Saying It’s My Fault?
Congrats: You’re The Chosen One
Congratulations! You have been chosen by a narcissist. I know what you're thinking: hmmm, doesn't seem like this is a Good Thing. Don't you usually congratulate someone for some type of achievement? A promotion, a new baby, a new home, a new degree - these are the types of things you typically gets Congrats … Continue reading Congrats: You’re The Chosen One
Where is My Lorelai Gilmore Chip?
Part of getting divorced is cutting expenses. As a result, I no longer have cable, which has led to Netflix binges. I've just finished the first season of the Gilmore Girls, which I had never watched before, but am completely taken by. When I first started watching I was very unsure of Lorelai. She seemed … Continue reading Where is My Lorelai Gilmore Chip?
Snow, Single Mothers’, Alzheimer’s & Guilt
The largest blizzard I ever lived through was in 1996. I was 7 months pregnant, lived with my ex, our 3 year old, and my 7 year old step son. We lived in a twin on a block made up of other twins, most of which were filled with young children. It was a great … Continue reading Snow, Single Mothers’, Alzheimer’s & Guilt
Petrification: Can I Break Out?
I've been trying to put into words what is happening to me right now, and I've been complete unsuccessful. Last week I realized that I feel dirty. My skin feels sullied, and I want to tear it off. At first I thought it was just my skin, and that if I could cure that … Continue reading Petrification: Can I Break Out?
The Universe or Coincidence?
Today I went to the funeral of a young woman who died of ovarian cancer. She was 36 years old. way too young to die. She did good deeds, she made an impact, she lived every minute of her short life. She started a project thanking cancer researchers via letters from survivors, a project … Continue reading The Universe or Coincidence?
Can Yoga Give Me Self-Love?
Self-love is not my strong suit. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that self-love is practically non-existent for me. I know that everyone has issues with various parts of themselves, like the stick thin woman who thinks her thighs are fat, or the over-weight but otherwise happy woman who hates her hair, … Continue reading Can Yoga Give Me Self-Love?
Groomed but Escaped 