(see update at bottom) I grew up with people subject to rage, and then married a man who did the same thing. Here's the thing about rage: it's all about control. Rage is not an expression of anger, it is a show put on by a disordered person, designed to flip the script; to … Continue reading Rage
narcissist
Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist
I have a good friend with whom I share many of my inner most thoughts, pretty or not. One of these thoughts was the idea that I wanted to "win" my divorce. I've decided (hopefully) that this is a very human, not at all unusual thought, especially among those who have been abused. It was … Continue reading Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist
Long Term Impact of Narcissist
I had a very difficult winter. If you read my blog regularly you might have noticed I stopped writing. I was struggling with a lingering virus (remember-if you are the victim of a narcissist your health is compromised), but that was not the whole story. I am increasingly aware of the long term impact of … Continue reading Long Term Impact of Narcissist
The Narcissist-Four Years Later
REVENGE People say that the best revenge after divorce is to live your best life. While it's not perfect, I am definitely living the best life I've ever lived. I still struggle with my health (life long battle thanks to the steady barrage of gas lighting from my ex narc), but aside from that, … Continue reading The Narcissist-Four Years Later
Cheaters & Liars
Strange story - in the last episode of the Connor's Jackie figured out that her boyfriend was cheating on her, and she kicked him to the curb. Watching this took me down memory lane. Everything he says to her is something my ex said to me. Things like: if you accuse me of cheating you're … Continue reading Cheaters & Liars
It’s All About The Guest List
Just a quick thought for the holidays....... I used to get super stressed about Christmas. I wanted so badly for it to be perfect that by the time the day was there I was sick. Every single year. And every year my (now) ex would look at me, a puzzled look on his … Continue reading It’s All About The Guest List
Love Bombing
Dirty John While I've accepted that I was love bombed by a covert narcissist, I still struggle with how it happened. In retrospect, everything was so clear. His actions did not match his words, he lied to everyone around him in order to see me, he went through jobs like others go through socks and … Continue reading Love Bombing
Tips & Tricks-Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
Those taking on the challenge of climbing Mt. Everest arrive at base camp between March & April. They spend a few weeks at base camp, acclimatizing to the altitude, taking short day trips, getting to know their companions and, I assume, learning tips and tricks for the dangerous climb ahead. I can't imagine traversing the … Continue reading Tips & Tricks-Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse
Often the most dangerous part of climbing Mt Everest is the descent. By the time the climber begins her descent she is exhausted yet exhilarated. This is a dangerous combination. On the one hand the climber feels invincible. On the other hand, she is really too tired and overwhelmed with emotion to make rational choices. … Continue reading Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse
Escaping Narcissistic Abuse – the Mt. Everest of Recovery
If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, there are concrete steps you can take to escape. Comparing this endeavor to climbing Mt. Everest, here is a list of steps to take to begin recovery. Using these steps to establish a new base camp for your life.
Groomed but Escaped 