As a teen my family spent hours in family therapy. I was the focus, as I was the "problem". I was the 1st of my siblings to fall apart, calling attention to our family. As I deteriorated, we were all forced into increasingly awkward hourly sessions, during which my parents recounted my transgressions and called … Continue reading Stories Become History
narcissist
Is Seven Years Enough?
Yesterday was my middle son's birthday. He was with his dad. He was there an unusually long time, and he came home very excited; again, unusual. He showed me a flash drive that his dad had given him. Apparently his dad had a video camera from the early years of our marriage, and he'd moved … Continue reading Is Seven Years Enough?
Divorcing a Narcissist: The Aftermath
In the US we are currently witnessing a narcissistic, powerful, wealthy man lose his status. Many have wondered if his young wife will divorce him. My children were laughing about how well off she'd be if she did divorce him. Having divorced a narcissist, I'm very aware of the price we pay, and the actual … Continue reading Divorcing a Narcissist: The Aftermath
The Narcissistic Mother
How easy it is to forget how bad things were once we're on our way to recovery. I did just that - forgot that while I've come to love my mother, she will never be an empathetic person. It happened this weekend. My brother has not spoken to either parent for over 3 years … Continue reading The Narcissistic Mother
Sex & the Covert Narcissist 2.0
I wrote Sex & the Covert Narc four years ago, and it continues to be my most often read entry. I decided it was time to update my thoughts in regards to sex. If you read my 1st blog you know that sex was one of the triggers my ex used. When I was … Continue reading Sex & the Covert Narcissist 2.0
Divorcing a Narcissist – Ultimate Cluster***k
This is for one of my BFF's, who is taking the initial steps towards divorcing her narc. HANG IN THERE! Remember when I brought enough alcohol for 3 of us to the ball field, then drank it all myself and your son had to drive me home? Remember me crying when he stopped … Continue reading Divorcing a Narcissist – Ultimate Cluster***k
The Narcissistic Father
I thought I would feel vindicated when my children finally figured out their narcissistic father. Instead, I just feel sad. The younger two have known for a while who and what their dad is. Not much has changed for them. My eldest is the one I've worried about. My ex always spent the most … Continue reading The Narcissistic Father
Words and Narcissistic Abuse
I didn't understand the power of words until I started recovering from narcissistic abuse. My therapist started dissecting my language, and slowly I learned how toxic the narc (and other disordered people) are in their use of language. I had put this issue aside until a co-worker started going through the separation/divorce process. She started … Continue reading Words and Narcissistic Abuse
Revenge
It took about 1 year for me to realize I had been married to, and was now divorcing, a covert narcissist. Memories flooded back. I had a hard time figuring out where to put the feelings, heartbreak and regret; hence this blog. At one point I wrote The Tractor. It was partially autobiographical but mostly … Continue reading Revenge
Rage
(see update at bottom) I grew up with people subject to rage, and then married a man who did the same thing. Here's the thing about rage: it's all about control. Rage is not an expression of anger, it is a show put on by a disordered person, designed to flip the script; to … Continue reading Rage
