What, you ask, is this picture?  It is the 11 pieces of mail, mailed on the same day.   (In case that is not clear, each one is dated November 30, 2016, by the bank that sent them.)  Half were sent certified, the other half regular mail.  All were sent by our mortgage lender.  So many issues….where do  I begin?

1. Perhaps with the fact that both me and my spouse are cooperating with the process?  We have called the lender, filled out their forms, sent them our documents, etc.
2. Or maybe with the fact that 1/2 of these are addressed to my spouses’ new address, yet they were all delivered to my address, in a different town.  A different street name, a different zip code, a different Fucking Town.

Apparently this is complicated, so for illustrative purposes let’s say his name and current address are:

Dick Wad, 69 Demon Way, Liarsville, PA, 66666.

My name and address are:

Me, Reality Way, Normalsville, PA 11111

While each letter was addressed to each of us, at each different address, they were all delivered to Reality Way,  Normalsville PA.  WTF?

3. And here’s a question:  what, pray tell, does “certified” mean.  I looked it up, and the way this works is that the delivery person simply pushes a button “certifying” that the letter was delivered.  They don’t have to prove it in any way.  Which would be fine, except that my postal person certified that letters addressed to Dick Wad at his GFs home, and letters addressed to me at his GF’s home, had all been delivered to me on Reality Way.  WHAT???  (see what I mean?   Would’t it seem clear that Liarsville and Normalsville are 2 Different Towns???)

4. Finally, I can understand why a letter addressed to him might be sent to my address.  He did live here for 14 years, so honest mistake.  But why on earth would anyone send a letter to me at Dick Wad’s GF’s house?  Why?  Just why?

And let’s talk banks.  Here’s a few facts:

• We’ve been assigned a “counselor” who is supposed to be tracking all of this.
• We have both told the “counselor” that I live at 1 address and he lives at a different address.  Does that sound complicated?  Is this really the 1st time the bank has encountered a divorcing couple living at different addresses?
• There are 2 different letters in this stack.  & only 2 different letters.  Each one contains at least 5 sheets of paper.  I’ve yet to have the patience to determine which letter was sent 6 times and which was sent 5 times.   Let’s suppose our “counselor” really wants to cover his ass.  I get that.  Corporate America.  So he decides to send each letter to each of us, at each recorded address.  Unless my math is wrong, this would be 8 letters.  Yet I’m looking at 11.
• One of these letters is simply reiterating what they’ve already sent us, at least 5 times in the 1.5 months we’ve been dealing with this.  It explains that we have an arrears on our mortgage, it outlines our options and the process, and it tells us that we need to contact them.  WHICH WE HAVE DONE.  Numerous Times.

So you have to wonder how much of the interest we all pay  is being used to pay for this ridiculous amount of unnecessary mail.  Not to mention the expense of the certified mail, that isn’t really certified since it was delivered to the Wrong Address.

Lastly, don’t we live in a paperless society???  Aren’t computers supposed to reduce the amount of paper we all deal with?  I am literally drowning in paper.  I could take all of the paper from the divorce, the business, the bank and the attorneys, pile it on top of myself and smother to death.  Hmmm…….options I’d yet to consider.

In case you are wondering, I have stooped to an all time low:  I am having a drink at 10:30 in the morning.  In my defense, it’s got pineapple juice in it, which is often considered a breakfast beverage, so there’s that.  Who would have thought it would be a divorce that lands me in AA.

PS:  Wordpress has requested I spellcheck Normalsville, yet has accepted Liarsville as properly spelled.  The one little hysterically bright spot in all of this.

 

Next blog:  tracking the money chain.  Which seems more plausible?  That I spent the $2432. meant to cover college tuition, on myself?  Or that he did something improper with the $6,000. check made out to Cash.  Hmmmmm..      There’s a tough one.