"We are getting divorced and you need to decide who you want to live with". This was the opening statement from my father during a "family meeting". My three siblings immediately said they wanted to go with him. I have no idea what I said. By this age (early tween) I was an expert at … Continue reading The Intentionality of Narcissistic Rage
shame
The Practice of Medicine
A few weeks ago I had a seizure. I was sitting in my kitchen with my 17 year old son, working on his college applications. The next thing I knew there were strange men trying to kidnap me (paramedics) and, when I was finally full aware, I was sitting in an ambulance on my way … Continue reading The Practice of Medicine
Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
If you are connected to a narcissist, you probably wrestle with your shadow self. Some aspects of our shadow self are survival instincts no longer necessary to survive. The most toxic parts of our shadow self though come from parents. If you were raised by a narcissist or other disordered person, you have been … Continue reading Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
Words and Narcissistic Abuse
I didn't understand the power of words until I started recovering from narcissistic abuse. My therapist started dissecting my language, and slowly I learned how toxic the narc (and other disordered people) are in their use of language. I had put this issue aside until a co-worker started going through the separation/divorce process. She started … Continue reading Words and Narcissistic Abuse
Parents Say the Darnedest Things
Parenthood brings many surprises. In addition to the fact that you can go days at a time without sleep and those D cup boobs aren't as fun as you thought they'd be, you find yourself engaged in activities you never knew existed. Between my 3 biological sons and 1 stepson, I've spent time marveling (& … Continue reading Parents Say the Darnedest Things
Acting, Lies & the Narcissist
My youngest son drove me to a Dr's appointment tonight. It's often illuminating spending time with captive children, and tonight did not disappoint. My son has recently started working as a cashier in the market down the street from our home. While waiting for my prescription, he launched into a tirade about how much … Continue reading Acting, Lies & the Narcissist
Last week I found myself in an uncomfortable situation.........in Sri Lanka. I live on the east coast of the USA - Sri Lanka is 8 time zones away. I was aware by Sunday afternoon that I was not going to be happy at the retreat I was on, yet I was to be there for … Continue reading
Me & My Big (Amazing) Mouth
How many years did I bow to the loudest voice in the room? How many times did I fail to stand up for what I believe? How many times did I sit at the dinner table with a narcissist and, finding myself speechless, let my children hear disturbed messages? Too many. There is a time … Continue reading Me & My Big (Amazing) Mouth
Anger, Grief & Death
My bosses 19 year old son died at 4:33 today. He suffered severe cerebral palsy from birth, and his past 3 years had been particularly cruel. He had 4 major surgeries, each resulting in major complications. Yesterday he suffered cardiac arrest. Today they made the decision to remove the ventilator keeping him alive, and he … Continue reading Anger, Grief & Death
Manipulation or Management
I was talking to an acquaintance about issues raising children, like getting them on the bus. She was having trouble with her son, and she had implemented some new rules. She said she wasn't sure if she was manipulating or managing him, and I was struck by this idea. Manipulation, in our society, has a … Continue reading Manipulation or Management
Groomed but Escaped 