The Narcissist Never Changes. Get Used to It.

My ex, a covert narcissist, took a low paying job rather than work for more in our business.  He did this just as it was time to start support negotiations.  He claims he is selling our business (a restaurant) because he has to work too many hours, and he's getting too old - he needs … Continue reading The Narcissist Never Changes. Get Used to It.

Narcissists Love Play-Doh

Recovering from Narcissist abuse is a long term endeavor.  I have developed a step program (will share later) and I still revisit some of the earlier steps.  I often have to reassure myself that I am not imaging my abuse.   I've been pondering lately why this is.  What is it about the narcissist abuse … Continue reading Narcissists Love Play-Doh

Passive Aggressive Bullshit

Yes, this is a rant. I am so damned tired of passive aggressive bullshit I want to ......  I don't know what I want to do.   I want to run away.  I want to not wake up in the morning.  I want to never read email, or take care of my home or my … Continue reading Passive Aggressive Bullshit

Narcissists Feed On Shame

Shame is a new concept for me.  I lived it, but I never understood it.  From as early as I can remember I've felt a deep sense of shame, a belief that I was inherently such a bad human I deserved nothing. As a child I was called "practically perfect".  My family thought this was … Continue reading Narcissists Feed On Shame

How Did Your Ex Introduce His Paramour to Your Children?

(As always, substitute her if you are a guy) I thought it might be fun for some of us regulars to share how our ex introduced his adulterer to our kids.  I'll go first.  I'll tell it from my point of view and his point of view (his in red.  Like Scarlet Letter Red) ME: … Continue reading How Did Your Ex Introduce His Paramour to Your Children?

I’m Moving On!!!!

What a week!  In my wildest dreams I could not have envisioned the week I've had.   Three Huge Things Happened.  I'll explain them in reverse. The 3rd thing happened today.  Today I had another divorce hearing.  I assumed it would amount to nothing, especially when my attorney called me at 9AM to tell me … Continue reading I’m Moving On!!!!

Listening with My Heart

My family has fractured because of this election.  Half of the family is on one side, half on the other, and there are people no longer speaking to each other.  I'm afraid that if someone dies we'll have to have  Trump - Anti-Trump sides in the church, with  Ushers  asking  which side we belong to. … Continue reading Listening with My Heart

The Gift of Me

  Tonight, after a particularly contentious legal day,  I sit writing. I am surrounded by the candles and Christmas decorations I've accumulated through the years, and wondering what they mean.  This is my 3rd Christmas separated, and it is the hardest, and I've been pondering this.  I'm sitting at my dining room table with the … Continue reading The Gift of Me

I Love My Job

How goofy is this:  I Love the part time job I've been given at my yoga studio.   I love having somewhere to be.  I love people smiling at me, and saying Thank You.  I love the owners saying I'm doing a good job, and a client saying "I'm so happy I got you on … Continue reading I Love My Job

Is This A Boundary Issue?

My oldest son moved into an apartment with his girlfriend (GF) in September.  I adore his GF, but I don't feel well equipped to judge the health of a relationship. My son can be difficult to live with.  He, like me, is a bit of a neat freak, and he gets easily upset when he's … Continue reading Is This A Boundary Issue?