As I enter my fourth year of recovery from narcissistic abuse, I find myself exhausted and bitter because of the layers of damage I have to peel away. I thought I was in a really good place because I'd been feeling really good about myself. One nagging issue though, had me wondering how well I … Continue reading Self Compassion After Narcissistic Abuse
raising children
Unconditional Love
This will be short because I am exhausted and not feeling well, but feeling compelled to write. Yesterday was the funeral for my bosses son. It was beautiful. She and her spouse gave the Eulogy, and there are no words to describe it. They were funny, poignant, joyous and sad. They spoke primarily to their … Continue reading Unconditional Love
Trapped
Last night I had the following dream - I was asleep in a highrise apartment. In the next bedroom was my step-son, age 5. I woke up and my ex (in the dream we are still together) is in bed with me, trying to cuddle. I ask him "what are you doing here? I thought … Continue reading Trapped
Narcissists Feed On Shame
Shame is a new concept for me. I lived it, but I never understood it. From as early as I can remember I've felt a deep sense of shame, a belief that I was inherently such a bad human I deserved nothing. As a child I was called "practically perfect". My family thought this was … Continue reading Narcissists Feed On Shame
Divorcing a Covert Narcissist Really Hurts
After 2 1/2 years of this divorce process you'd think I would be over the pain. After all that has happened, during our marriage and during the divorce, I am still amazed when I feel like I've taken a dagger to my heart. I know my spouse is a psychopath. I know he messed … Continue reading Divorcing a Covert Narcissist Really Hurts
Is This A Boundary Issue?
My oldest son moved into an apartment with his girlfriend (GF) in September. I adore his GF, but I don't feel well equipped to judge the health of a relationship. My son can be difficult to live with. He, like me, is a bit of a neat freak, and he gets easily upset when he's … Continue reading Is This A Boundary Issue?
Bummed Out Mom
Lately I've been obsessed with family tv shows. Inevitably, the mom has some nugget of wisdom that carries her children through their life. When times are bad they think of her words and are comforted. I can remember two of my mom's nuggets. The 1st was "when you meet someone new, remember they are as … Continue reading Bummed Out Mom
The Covert Narc’s Son
I kicked out my middle son today. Actually, I gave him several months to work things out, to start helping himself and to stop treating me like shit. When nothing changed, I gave him a month's notice to go. I should be wracked with guilt, but I'm not. I'm relieved. I know it's possible I'll … Continue reading The Covert Narc’s Son
I Have A Feeling Hangover
I have a feeling hangover! Two years ago, when I started with my therapist, she said (and I repeatedly read) "you have to feel your feelings to get past them. You have to walk through them and FEEL them". I said WTF does that mean? I feel my feelings. I get sad, I cry, … Continue reading I Have A Feeling Hangover
Dinner With The Covert Narc
The 1st time I had dinner at my ex's home I was surprised. My ex bragged about his father constantly. According to him, his father was his idol. He was a perfect father, husband, employee and Deacon. He was always on the go, leaving at 7AM for work, stopping home for a 15 minute dinner … Continue reading Dinner With The Covert Narc
Groomed but Escaped 