I kicked out my middle son today. Actually, I gave him several months to work things out, to start helping himself and to stop treating me like shit. When nothing changed, I gave him a month's notice to go. I should be wracked with guilt, but I'm not. I'm relieved. I know it's possible I'll … Continue reading The Covert Narc’s Son
pain
Scapegoats
a person or group made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place. 'Thrown to the Wolves" Boundaries. Scapegoats. Abuse. How do I put these words together in a way that rings true to me? How do I get past the idea that I'm "bashing" family, "attacking people who did … Continue reading Scapegoats
Mt. Everest
I've been writing about my recovery (much more than what I've posted) and it dawned on me that this Trek we are on, recovering from narcissistic abuse, might be similar to submitting Mt. Everest. Once the idea occurred to me I started reading up on Everest and I am stunned by much of what I … Continue reading Mt. Everest
Journey vs. Trek
I've hated the word "journey" ever since I was diagnosed with cancer. When first diagnosed, you enter a surreal world in which you are purported to be many things you are not: a hero, a fighter, a warrior, an inspiration, and on a journey. It's crazy, because it happens in no other medical condition; … Continue reading Journey vs. Trek
Hard Not to Wallow
2 Months before our 23rd anniversary: Divorce requested by him 3/31/14. Denial of affair. Flowers sent to GH 4/4/14; receipt found by me 4/6. 4/14/14 - made him move out; told the kids. 4/2015 - vacation with the GF. Celebrating 1 year official anniversary? 5/2015 - GF introduced to kids. Always with them now. 7/2015 … Continue reading Hard Not to Wallow
To Blog or Not To Blog
I can't decide if I want this blog to be successful or not. In fact, the day I had the most reads, I went into a panic. What if my ex reads this? What if my kids read this? What if my parents read this? What will they think? What will they say? How … Continue reading To Blog or Not To Blog
Rewriting My Childhood
Years ago my mother gave me a bag of letters from my childhood. Most were letters I had written, but there was one she had written. She wrote it when I was a senior in college. It was addressed to my sorority sister who wanted information about my childhood to use in the Senior Send … Continue reading Rewriting My Childhood
Ovarian Cancer
https://www.statnews.com/2016/04/01/ovarian-cancer-failure/ Getting a cancer diagnosis is like being hit by a Mac truck. I got mine while walking my dog, at 4:30 on a lovely July afternoon. At that time I was worried about my 11 year old's baseball game, and my older sons education, when suddenly, BOOM. I had been having stomach pain … Continue reading Ovarian Cancer
The Upside of Tantrums
Rage on you Tiny Children I just read a blog from a young mother troubled about dealing with her youngest child's tantrums. As is so often the case, many tantrums happen in public, and are embarrassing to parents. It is difficult to know how to deal with them, especially when we are surrounded by … Continue reading The Upside of Tantrums
the Downside of “The Universe”
Truth Bombs I love yoga, my yoga studio and my yoga peeps. For a time I bought into the idea that "the universe" speaks to us. It is an attractive idea, right? In the same way religious people say their lives are controlled by God, many yoga peeps say our lives are controlled by … Continue reading the Downside of “The Universe”
Groomed but Escaped 