I've been writing about my recovery (much more than what I've posted) and it dawned on me that this Trek we are on, recovering from narcissistic abuse, might be similar to submitting Mt. Everest. Once the idea occurred to me I started reading up on Everest and I am stunned by much of what I … Continue reading Mt. Everest
health
Life Is Not Fair
Remember when we were kids and when we complained "life's not fair"? We'd hear "life's not fair, then you die". Turns out this is not a good thing to say to a child who's mother has cancer. I've said it a few times to my 14 year old, and I finally looked as … Continue reading Life Is Not Fair
The Upside of Tantrums
Rage on you Tiny Children I just read a blog from a young mother troubled about dealing with her youngest child's tantrums. As is so often the case, many tantrums happen in public, and are embarrassing to parents. It is difficult to know how to deal with them, especially when we are surrounded by … Continue reading The Upside of Tantrums
the Downside of “The Universe”
Truth Bombs I love yoga, my yoga studio and my yoga peeps. For a time I bought into the idea that "the universe" speaks to us. It is an attractive idea, right? In the same way religious people say their lives are controlled by God, many yoga peeps say our lives are controlled by … Continue reading the Downside of “The Universe”
Cats, Dogs, & Self-Esteem
Even my cat's love was an illusion. I always wanted a kitten, but the rest of my family said no. They were dog people. The summer before 5th grade a friend of mine had kittens (actually, her cat had kittens) and I yearned for one of them, but the family consensus was no. I left … Continue reading Cats, Dogs, & Self-Esteem
The Danger of Hope
Hope In Moderation My ex used to call me Debbie Downer. He claimed that I always rained on his parade. It's hard not to believe things you are told over, and over, and over, so I believed it. I was the eternal pessimist, the one afraid to make any type of move, the one questioning … Continue reading The Danger of Hope
My Story
What I Thought Happened I met my narc in 1988. I worked with him for 6 months, during which time I came to see him as a total dick. He treated me and other employees terribly. He was rude, sullen, uncooperative and unavailable, until he needed me for something. Once he realized I could help … Continue reading My Story
My Brain on Trauma
This is hard for me to write, hard for me to say, hard for me to admit. I am a perpetual victim. Of my own making. I knew I didn't handle stressful situations well, but I had no idea that I respond to situations like a victim. Before I tell you what happened, I … Continue reading My Brain on Trauma
Geometry And Yoga
I took remedial Geometry in 10th grade. I'm not sure how they knew this was a terrible subject for me, but they did. Having just come from, and loved, algebra, I wasn't very concerned about Geometry. Imagine my surprise when it just didn't seem to take. Apparently I am missing the spacial awareness chip, so … Continue reading Geometry And Yoga
Leave My Attitude Alone
I just finished reading a summation of a celebrities journey with cancer, in which she claims that to survive cancer you must believe you will "win". She went on to say that all of the "survivors" she knew had this belief. I am dumbfounded by this. Of course the women she knows believe they are … Continue reading Leave My Attitude Alone
Groomed but Escaped 