If you are connected to a narcissist, you probably wrestle with your shadow self. Some aspects of our shadow self are survival instincts no longer necessary to survive. The most toxic parts of our shadow self though come from parents. If you were raised by a narcissist or other disordered person, you have been … Continue reading Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
failure
Last week I found myself in an uncomfortable situation.........in Sri Lanka. I live on the east coast of the USA - Sri Lanka is 8 time zones away. I was aware by Sunday afternoon that I was not going to be happy at the retreat I was on, yet I was to be there for … Continue reading
A Safe Space
I learned what a safe space is from an elderly gentleman who recently joined the yoga studio. The first time I met him he sat on the sofa and talked, about himself, the entire time I was trying to check students in. I was rather annoyed and, when he promised to finish a story after … Continue reading A Safe Space
Will You Help Me?
I've had a really hard day/week, so forgive me if this is scattered. Imagine this: You are drowning. It is obvious you are drowning. Everyone knows this. Someone offers to throw you a buoy. You accept. You say "go ahead - throw me the red buoy" They say "wait - what size buoy? why the … Continue reading Will You Help Me?
Narcissists Feed On Shame
Shame is a new concept for me. I lived it, but I never understood it. From as early as I can remember I've felt a deep sense of shame, a belief that I was inherently such a bad human I deserved nothing. As a child I was called "practically perfect". My family thought this was … Continue reading Narcissists Feed On Shame
Bummed Out Mom
Lately I've been obsessed with family tv shows. Inevitably, the mom has some nugget of wisdom that carries her children through their life. When times are bad they think of her words and are comforted. I can remember two of my mom's nuggets. The 1st was "when you meet someone new, remember they are as … Continue reading Bummed Out Mom
The Perils of Writing
I often find, when having a conversation with someone, lots of other thoughts arise. So it was this morning at my yoga studio. I had been working on a blog about the studio, and I had sent it to the owners to read before I posted it. Several of my yoga blogs have been posted … Continue reading The Perils of Writing
Regrets
Today, on my 55th birthday, I find myself looking back at what I expected my life to look versus what is does look like. What I expected was a career as a Psychologist, living a fulfilling life helping others, while remaining single. What I got was very different. I wish I could blame it all … Continue reading Regrets
Support Is Everything
I learned a valuable lesson this summer while surfing. I learned that without the proper support, I am doomed to failure, but with the proper support I am destined to succeed. Here's what happened. I've always wanted to surf. Last summer, as I sat on the beach watching my kids surf, I decided it … Continue reading Support Is Everything
I Think I’m The Problem
It's not a far-fetched idea, that I am the problem. I'm the one here with my boys, day in , day out. If they are on the edge, teetering between happiness and misery, isn't that my doing, not the ex's? He's not here to influence them - I am. And it seems that I'm … Continue reading I Think I’m The Problem
Groomed but Escaped 