At therapy this week my therapist said "we have to get rid of that inner critic, always putting you down" and the 1st thought that popped into my head was "I know. I'm so stupid for doing that". What a predicament! How can I get rid of the voice that constantly criticizes me, when I'm … Continue reading My Stupid Inner Critic
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How To Call Dibs on a Parking Spot
Apparently, this is confusing to some people. Some seem to believe it is done with their middle finger, not their turn signal. This is Wrong. Which leads me to further evidence of my recovery. Yesterday I was in a parking lot and I spied a spot, so I headed over to it. As I approached … Continue reading How To Call Dibs on a Parking Spot
Personality Traits: Both Good & Bad
The Real Me - I've been trying to figure out who I am. I was the bad seed in my family; the one who didn't quite fit but gave others a great laugh (not with, but at). I've worked hard all of my life to not be who I am, and now that I'd … Continue reading Personality Traits: Both Good & Bad
Damn Right I’m a Drama Queen
I admit it: I'm a Drama Queen (DQ from here on out because I'm tired. Actually, I'm......exhausted /dramatic). Part of me is a DQ. One of the stories my mother often tells about me is how dramatic I was when physically hurt. Apparently, I would scream and howl the entire way to the ER. As … Continue reading Damn Right I’m a Drama Queen
What’s Left of Me?
It's ironic that I have a Master's degree in Psychology but had no real idea what the buzzwords actually meant. Words like emotional abuse, projection, dissociation, and denial, all so relevant to the therapeutic process, were only concepts; ideas I could define but not really relate to. It's a good thing I decided not to … Continue reading What’s Left of Me?
I Have A Feeling Hangover
I have a feeling hangover! Two years ago, when I started with my therapist, she said (and I repeatedly read) "you have to feel your feelings to get past them. You have to walk through them and FEEL them". I said WTF does that mean? I feel my feelings. I get sad, I cry, … Continue reading I Have A Feeling Hangover
My AHA! Moment
If happened this morning! All of the writing, reading, talking, meditating, ruminating, examining and yoga all came together this morning and I GOT IT! It has taken a long time to get here, and I know I am still a work in progress, but I finally feel like it's a journey worth taking. I want … Continue reading My AHA! Moment
Instead of Breaking
The glassblower knows: while in the heat of beginning, any shape is possible. Once hardened, the only way to change is to break. The Book of Awakening, Mark Nepo That is the opening passage for February 19. I am much further along in the book (started reading it daily last April) so I'm not even sure … Continue reading Instead of Breaking
The Paradox of Fear
Since I've been diagnosed with PSTD, and am about to embark on treatment specific to this issue, I feel compelled to research what this means. EMDR, the current treatment for PSTD, addresses the connections in the many components of our brain. I will be undergoing the same treatment as a soldier returning from war, … Continue reading The Paradox of Fear
My Brain on Trauma
This is hard for me to write, hard for me to say, hard for me to admit. I am a perpetual victim. Of my own making. I knew I didn't handle stressful situations well, but I had no idea that I respond to situations like a victim. Before I tell you what happened, I … Continue reading My Brain on Trauma
Groomed but Escaped 