I spend a lot of time wondering how I missed it. How did I miss that the man I married didn’t love me, I wasn’t his soul mate, he didn’t like all of the same things I liked. He chose me for what I brought to the table. I was chosen to be a Nanny, … Continue reading Saying Goodbye To My Inner Julie
divorce
Love Bombing
Beware the Love Bomb The Love Bomber is a sociopath. He/she will change their personality, their wardrobe, their hobbies, even their car to mirror you. They will quietly learn all about you, and once they know enough about you, they’ll pounce. In addition to liking everything you do, they’ll say things like: You understand me … Continue reading Love Bombing
The Meaning Of Brave
One of my pet peeves of cancer, and a pet peeve of many cancer patients I know, is suddenly being told we are“brave”, “courageous’, a “fighter” and even a “role model”. Most other cancer patients I speak with despise these sentiments. It’s not like I Chose Cancer. I didn’t sidled up to the take out … Continue reading The Meaning Of Brave
When Therapy Fails It’s Time to Bail
Lest I sound cavalier I’ll state for the record – I Never Wanted A Divorce. I wanted a healthy, happy, supportive, productive marriage. I got none of these. After a year and ½ of separation, even though we are no closer to divorce then we were a year ago, I have become an advocate of … Continue reading When Therapy Fails It’s Time to Bail
Stop With The Platitudes
Individuals in my situation, cancer “survivors”, or those going through divorce, are bombarded with Platitudes. These statements are uncomfortable at best, hurtful at worst. The reason for this is that a platitude “is a statement, especially one with a moral content, that has been used too often to be interesting or thoughtful” (dictionary.com) . In … Continue reading Stop With The Platitudes
A Gift From Yoga
Yoga gave me a broken pinky finger, and it was the highlight of my summer! The break has prevented me from writing, cleaning & cooking. It has brought me pain, splints, a hand brace and physical therapy. It has created discomfort on my mat, in my life, in bed even. It has slowed my … Continue reading A Gift From Yoga
Mind or Body? Connection in Yoga
Having already divulged my age I feel comfortable revealing that I was in college & graduate school in the early 1980’s, studying psychology. I think it was the Star Wars movies, with the introduction of “The Force”, the knowledge that we only use 10% of our brain, and the plethora of studies using biofeedback, that … Continue reading Mind or Body? Connection in Yoga
Old Me Versus New Me
Pre versus Post Cancer I have often heard “cancer changed everything”. I thought this was just one of those cliché’s we all hear, but is clearly an exaggeration. I’ve been dealing with chronic, debilitating illness for 19 years, so how could cancer change my perspective of my life? Yet it did. My life is … Continue reading Old Me Versus New Me
Marriage Almost Killed Me
Marriage. I failed at Marriage. I see other couples and wonder how it is that I am the one getting divorced while they remain together. I see couples that are horrible to each other. They insult each other and yell at each other. I never did that to my spouse, and he never … Continue reading Marriage Almost Killed Me
Wading Through My Marshes
This is how I plan to wade through the marshes I have been stuck in. In the center are the reeds that make up my marshes. Each one has a person's name, an event or an "issue" I need to deal with. I'll choose a reed each day for my mediation practice. If I feel … Continue reading Wading Through My Marshes
Groomed but Escaped 