Last night I had the following dream - I was asleep in a highrise apartment. In the next bedroom was my step-son, age 5. I woke up and my ex (in the dream we are still together) is in bed with me, trying to cuddle. I ask him "what are you doing here? I thought … Continue reading Trapped
death
Reluctant Advocate
I've been thinking about how I got involved in ovarian cancer advocacy, and I thought what better place to tell my story. Humiliating as it is! When I finally settled in to the fact that I had advanced stage cancer, requiring major surgery then 6 rounds of brutal chemo, I made a decision: I was … Continue reading Reluctant Advocate
When Time Stands Still
I will never forget the moment time stopped. It was 4:30 on a Monday afternoon. It was hot, early June. I was deep in thought as I walked my dog. I was thinking about how to get my 11 year old fed and to his baseball game. I was worried he wouldn't get a hit, … Continue reading When Time Stands Still
I’m Moving On!!!!
What a week! In my wildest dreams I could not have envisioned the week I've had. Three Huge Things Happened. I'll explain them in reverse. The 3rd thing happened today. Today I had another divorce hearing. I assumed it would amount to nothing, especially when my attorney called me at 9AM to tell me … Continue reading I’m Moving On!!!!
Overt Versus Covert Narcissist
The Circus versus the Magician I just spent time with my uncle, a bon-a-fide covert narcissist of the somatic sub-type (obsessed with his looks & physical prowess). I had planned to work on implementing boundaries, but it took little time to realize I was fighting a losing battle. At the end of my time … Continue reading Overt Versus Covert Narcissist
Delusion, Meet Reality
I am surrounded by well meaning family & friends, all of whom want the best for me. I am also part of a yoga community, which wants the best for everyone, and I belong to cancer and divorce support groups on FB. All of these sources together have thrust me into a world of delusion, … Continue reading Delusion, Meet Reality
If I Was Gone
If I was gone, people would notice, a funeral well attended Tears would be shed, regrets told in earnest a house would be sold, possessions disposed of not that it matters, no possession defines me My family would gather, tell stories of my life some would be lovely, others recalled to clarify I was a … Continue reading If I Was Gone
Love Wins
My son and I spent yesterday on Capital Hill, advocating for ovarian cancer awareness and funding. It was amazing on so many levels. To begin, I met many of the women I share with on FB. FB has a page for those with ovarian cancer, and I have to say, we are the nicest group … Continue reading Love Wins
Mt. Everest
I've been writing about my recovery (much more than what I've posted) and it dawned on me that this Trek we are on, recovering from narcissistic abuse, might be similar to submitting Mt. Everest. Once the idea occurred to me I started reading up on Everest and I am stunned by much of what I … Continue reading Mt. Everest
Journey vs. Trek
I've hated the word "journey" ever since I was diagnosed with cancer. When first diagnosed, you enter a surreal world in which you are purported to be many things you are not: a hero, a fighter, a warrior, an inspiration, and on a journey. It's crazy, because it happens in no other medical condition; … Continue reading Journey vs. Trek
Groomed but Escaped 