The term Gaslighting appears often these days. I recently read an article titled "Employers Gaslight Employees to Return to Office". The title left me with a knot in my gut. As we recover from Covid shutdowns, employers are anxious to have employees return to the office, but gaslighting them? Clearly this was written by someone … Continue reading Gaslighting
covert abuse
Life After Long Term Narcissistic Abuse
I spent 24 with a covert narcissist. This was after growing up with a covert narcissist and an alcoholic. I am 6 years, 3 months from the date my covert narc moved out, and I believe I am now in the final stage of recovery. Of course I thought I was in the last … Continue reading Life After Long Term Narcissistic Abuse
Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
If you are connected to a narcissist, you probably wrestle with your shadow self. Some aspects of our shadow self are survival instincts no longer necessary to survive. The most toxic parts of our shadow self though come from parents. If you were raised by a narcissist or other disordered person, you have been … Continue reading Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
The Narcissistic Father
I thought I would feel vindicated when my children finally figured out their narcissistic father. Instead, I just feel sad. The younger two have known for a while who and what their dad is. Not much has changed for them. My eldest is the one I've worried about. My ex always spent the most … Continue reading The Narcissistic Father
Words and Narcissistic Abuse
I didn't understand the power of words until I started recovering from narcissistic abuse. My therapist started dissecting my language, and slowly I learned how toxic the narc (and other disordered people) are in their use of language. I had put this issue aside until a co-worker started going through the separation/divorce process. She started … Continue reading Words and Narcissistic Abuse
Revenge
It took about 1 year for me to realize I had been married to, and was now divorcing, a covert narcissist. Memories flooded back. I had a hard time figuring out where to put the feelings, heartbreak and regret; hence this blog. At one point I wrote The Tractor. It was partially autobiographical but mostly … Continue reading Revenge
Rage
(see update at bottom) I grew up with people subject to rage, and then married a man who did the same thing. Here's the thing about rage: it's all about control. Rage is not an expression of anger, it is a show put on by a disordered person, designed to flip the script; to … Continue reading Rage
Long Term Impact of Narcissist
I had a very difficult winter. If you read my blog regularly you might have noticed I stopped writing. I was struggling with a lingering virus (remember-if you are the victim of a narcissist your health is compromised), but that was not the whole story. I am increasingly aware of the long term impact of … Continue reading Long Term Impact of Narcissist
Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse
Often the most dangerous part of climbing Mt Everest is the descent. By the time the climber begins her descent she is exhausted yet exhilarated. This is a dangerous combination. On the one hand the climber feels invincible. On the other hand, she is really too tired and overwhelmed with emotion to make rational choices. … Continue reading Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse
Mother!
If you'd like to watch how life with a narcissists goes, watch the movie Mother! It is difficult to watch because it is so crazy, but it a great representation of how, and why, someone can be trapped by a narcissist. Happy Labor Day weekend!
Groomed but Escaped 