Tonight I have the "honor" of hosting my uncle, the King of Overt Narcissists (KOON). He has cancer and is getting a 3rd opinion at a hospital near me, so he is spending the night at my house and I'll take him to his appointment in the morning. I was asked to do this … Continue reading Boundaries are Afoot
cancer
Let’s Talk FaceBook
A few background facts: I own a restaurant with my soon to be ex (stbx). My savings and good credit partially funded it, I helped open it, I did the books for years, and I showed up when it was understaffed and waited tables. My stbx cheated on me repeatedly during out marriage. He was … Continue reading Let’s Talk FaceBook
Delusion, Meet Reality
I am surrounded by well meaning family & friends, all of whom want the best for me. I am also part of a yoga community, which wants the best for everyone, and I belong to cancer and divorce support groups on FB. All of these sources together have thrust me into a world of delusion, … Continue reading Delusion, Meet Reality
The Wrong Choice: My Specialty
My youngest graduated 8th grade today. I had the perfect seat in the packed auditorium. It gave me ample opportunity to watch him and get great pics as he received his diploma. Until.......1/2 way through, they switched the direction the kids were walking. I got an awesome pic of his back. I came home to … Continue reading The Wrong Choice: My Specialty
The Lie Sundae: The Narc’s Weapon
The Worse thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth. I recently read these words, by an author I don't know, and I've been thinking about them. I imagine in a healthy relationship this might be true. I've not been in a healthy relationship, so I don't know. Do healthy couples … Continue reading The Lie Sundae: The Narc’s Weapon
The Covert Narc’s Son
I kicked out my middle son today. Actually, I gave him several months to work things out, to start helping himself and to stop treating me like shit. When nothing changed, I gave him a month's notice to go. I should be wracked with guilt, but I'm not. I'm relieved. I know it's possible I'll … Continue reading The Covert Narc’s Son
Alone in a Room Full Of People
That's how I feel. It makes no difference how many people are there, I'm different. It doesn't matter how much I write about it, how freely I talk about it, how many people ask me how I am or say they're there for me. I'm alone in a room full of people. I can't talk … Continue reading Alone in a Room Full Of People
Journey vs. Trek
I've hated the word "journey" ever since I was diagnosed with cancer. When first diagnosed, you enter a surreal world in which you are purported to be many things you are not: a hero, a fighter, a warrior, an inspiration, and on a journey. It's crazy, because it happens in no other medical condition; … Continue reading Journey vs. Trek
Breaking Up With My Oncologist
I've decided to ditch my oncologist (gyn/oc = gynecological oncologist). The protocol for high grade serous epithelial stage 3B ovarian cancer is 5 years of follow-ups. During those 5 year Dr's are supposed to see you every 3 months, draw a CA125 every 3 months and, if there is a rise in the CA 125 … Continue reading Breaking Up With My Oncologist
The Magic of the Covert Narcissist
It's like magic, what the covert narcissist (CN) does to your head. Today is a great example of how it works. I started my day feeling pretty good. I felt strong, capable, not bad looking for my age, and, believe it or not, Happy. I went to yoga and saw people who I feel … Continue reading The Magic of the Covert Narcissist
Groomed but Escaped 