http://yoganonymous.com/the-dark-side-of-people-pleasing This is a whole new take on People Pleasing behavior. This is something I've done my whole life; except when I've gone off the rails, which I've also done! It seems to me that there has to be a middle ground between people pleasing and losing it, checking out, ranting, and I think I've … Continue reading People Pleaser: Time To Reform
boundaries
I Have A Feeling Hangover
I have a feeling hangover! Two years ago, when I started with my therapist, she said (and I repeatedly read) "you have to feel your feelings to get past them. You have to walk through them and FEEL them". I said WTF does that mean? I feel my feelings. I get sad, I cry, … Continue reading I Have A Feeling Hangover
Taxes & Divorce
While we've been separated for close to 2 years, my ex and I are not close to being divorced. We own a business together, so our finances are not transparent, making divorce very complicated. I intended to file taxes single this year. My original intent was to make sure my son received the maximum amount … Continue reading Taxes & Divorce
Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
It is easy to get through a crisis in the beginning. In the beginning, everyone gathers round and holds you up. Your family drops everything to be at your side, your friends check in on you every day, your children are on their best behavior. You are surrounded by love, and you come to … Continue reading Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
Dinner With The Covert Narc
The 1st time I had dinner at my ex's home I was surprised. My ex bragged about his father constantly. According to him, his father was his idol. He was a perfect father, husband, employee and Deacon. He was always on the go, leaving at 7AM for work, stopping home for a 15 minute dinner … Continue reading Dinner With The Covert Narc
Deal Breakers = Boundaries
I've always thought that people who claim certain characteristics/beliefs/habits are "deal breakers" are excessively picky. I've stood firm in this judgement. One friend in particular has a ton of deal breakers: he's shorter then I, he's not successful professionally, he's an engineer, he has no sense of humor, he doesn't like Bruce Springsteen, etc. etc. … Continue reading Deal Breakers = Boundaries
The Unaccountable Accountant
Getting divorced is complicated, especially when you are in a situation like mine. My ex and I own a restaurant together. Over the years, as my health worsened, my role decreased and his increased. In the 4 or 5 years before our separation I had little to do with the business, leaving decisions, management and … Continue reading The Unaccountable Accountant
Sidestepping the Pain
I don't want to write about pain anymore. Yes, I am in pain. Every time I think it's gone, it resurfaces, and I wallow. And I'm so, so tired of it! If the only way out is through it, I guess I won't get out, because I'm not going through it anymore. I'm going to … Continue reading Sidestepping the Pain
Where is My Lorelai Gilmore Chip?
Part of getting divorced is cutting expenses. As a result, I no longer have cable, which has led to Netflix binges. I've just finished the first season of the Gilmore Girls, which I had never watched before, but am completely taken by. When I first started watching I was very unsure of Lorelai. She seemed … Continue reading Where is My Lorelai Gilmore Chip?
Petrification: Can I Break Out?
I've been trying to put into words what is happening to me right now, and I've been complete unsuccessful. Last week I realized that I feel dirty. My skin feels sullied, and I want to tear it off. At first I thought it was just my skin, and that if I could cure that … Continue reading Petrification: Can I Break Out?
Groomed but Escaped 