A few weeks ago I had a seizure. I was sitting in my kitchen with my 17 year old son, working on his college applications. The next thing I knew there were strange men trying to kidnap me (paramedics) and, when I was finally full aware, I was sitting in an ambulance on my way … Continue reading The Practice of Medicine
self doubt
Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
If you are connected to a narcissist, you probably wrestle with your shadow self. Some aspects of our shadow self are survival instincts no longer necessary to survive. The most toxic parts of our shadow self though come from parents. If you were raised by a narcissist or other disordered person, you have been … Continue reading Shadow Self-Narcissist Fuel
Gaslighting: The Gift that Keeps on Giving
I was with my parents the other day. I don't recall the exact conversation, but I remember my mother saying "why on earth would you think that about yourself?" I told her it is hard to shake negative self-thoughts when it is all I've heard for over 20 years. She replied "what could … Continue reading Gaslighting: The Gift that Keeps on Giving
I Know I Look Good
At the age of 35, shortly after giving birth to my second son, I rolled in to my "journey" of disability. I strapped on my roller blades, something I'd done a thousand times before, but, before I'd pushed off from my car, lost my breath. This was my first full blown asthma attack, and … Continue reading I Know I Look Good
Rewriting My Childhood
Years ago my mother gave me a bag of letters from my childhood. Most were letters I had written, but there was one she had written. She wrote it when I was a senior in college. It was addressed to my sorority sister who wanted information about my childhood to use in the Senior Send … Continue reading Rewriting My Childhood
Parenting after Abuse
I've been Netflixing the show Parenthood. I started watching because I no longer have cable, there was nothing on the main stations, and I love Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls. Halfway through the 1st episode I was hooked. If I'm not writing, taking care of my home/kids or doing yoga/therapy/meditation, I'm watching Parenthood. For … Continue reading Parenting after Abuse
Why I Stayed with My Covert Narcissist
Human Doormat Syndrome I suffer from Human Doormat Syndrome (HDS). I'm thinking of starting a recovery program for fellow sufferers. Like AA, we could come together in a circle, take turns saying "Hi. I'm MurphyCee and I am a Human Doormat". Then we could share our stories of how we've willingly allowed others to … Continue reading Why I Stayed with My Covert Narcissist
Deal Breakers = Boundaries
I've always thought that people who claim certain characteristics/beliefs/habits are "deal breakers" are excessively picky. I've stood firm in this judgement. One friend in particular has a ton of deal breakers: he's shorter then I, he's not successful professionally, he's an engineer, he has no sense of humor, he doesn't like Bruce Springsteen, etc. etc. … Continue reading Deal Breakers = Boundaries
Groomed but Escaped 