It has been 1 year, 8 months & 10 days since my ex asked for a divorce, swearing there wasn't another woman. It's been 1 year, 8 months & 15 days since I found proof of the other woman. It's been 1 year, 9 months and 12 days since he admitted, in writing, that there … Continue reading I’m Just So Hurt
self awareness
Fear Of Flying
What creates a fear of flying? I was never afraid to fly, until the day I suddenly was. For years I've required copious amounts of Valium and alcohol to fly. One flight, years ago, was due to leave around 7AM. By 6:30 I had taken 2 Xanax and had a drink; yes, at … Continue reading Fear Of Flying
Alone or Lonely?
I have always enjoyed being alone. From as far back as I can remember I was just as content playing alone as I was playing with my friends. As a matter of fact, I cherished my time alone. I have many solitary activities that I enjoy, so being alone is never a problem for me. … Continue reading Alone or Lonely?
Shame vs. Self Love
The Battle of the Shame Angel versus the Self-Love Angel begins.
Vomitus Invitationus
My mother always says that I make friends where ever I go, and this is true. I have no trouble meeting new people, and I can become fast friends with some. In fact, I become such close friends with some that I do what I call “vomiting invitations”. I have been known to invite virtual … Continue reading Vomitus Invitationus
A Bull In The China Shop
I grew up being told I was like a bull in a china shop. I had trouble reconciling this. I was able to do great things on the balance beam at school, I never seemed to break things in other people’s homes, and I was generally competent when trying new physical endeavors. Most times I … Continue reading A Bull In The China Shop
Where Does all the Anger Go?
I am So, So Mad. I'm mad at my ex for reeling me in, taking me down, then leaving me. I'm mad at the stupid women who engaged my ex in his narcissistic need for constant esteem boosts, believing it was my fault our marriage sucked. I'm so mad at myself for believing it was … Continue reading Where Does all the Anger Go?
Saying Goodbye To My Inner Julie
I spend a lot of time wondering how I missed it. How did I miss that the man I married didn’t love me, I wasn’t his soul mate, he didn’t like all of the same things I liked. He chose me for what I brought to the table. I was chosen to be a Nanny, … Continue reading Saying Goodbye To My Inner Julie
Groomed but Escaped 