FEAR Future Events Appearing Real When my ex first left I was terrified. He'd spent over 20 years putting me down in a way I didn't understand. When he left I felt helpless and doomed. As has been the case in my adult years, my parents showed up. My father, who I've never … Continue reading Future Events Appearing Real
narcissist
the Downside of “The Universe”
Truth Bombs I love yoga, my yoga studio and my yoga peeps. For a time I bought into the idea that "the universe" speaks to us. It is an attractive idea, right? In the same way religious people say their lives are controlled by God, many yoga peeps say our lives are controlled by … Continue reading the Downside of “The Universe”
Cats, Dogs, & Self-Esteem
Even my cat's love was an illusion. I always wanted a kitten, but the rest of my family said no. They were dog people. The summer before 5th grade a friend of mine had kittens (actually, her cat had kittens) and I yearned for one of them, but the family consensus was no. I left … Continue reading Cats, Dogs, & Self-Esteem
Taxes & Divorce
While we've been separated for close to 2 years, my ex and I are not close to being divorced. We own a business together, so our finances are not transparent, making divorce very complicated. I intended to file taxes single this year. My original intent was to make sure my son received the maximum amount … Continue reading Taxes & Divorce
Why I Stayed with My Covert Narcissist
Human Doormat Syndrome I suffer from Human Doormat Syndrome (HDS). I'm thinking of starting a recovery program for fellow sufferers. Like AA, we could come together in a circle, take turns saying "Hi. I'm MurphyCee and I am a Human Doormat". Then we could share our stories of how we've willingly allowed others to … Continue reading Why I Stayed with My Covert Narcissist
Human Pathology Detector
I am a Human Pathology Detector. I have found that if someone is psychologically normal, or healthy, I am automatically put on guard. I feel awkward, shy and inept around them. I don't want to spend time with them, and I will go out of my way to avoid them. If, however, some one is … Continue reading Human Pathology Detector
The Danger of Hope
Hope In Moderation My ex used to call me Debbie Downer. He claimed that I always rained on his parade. It's hard not to believe things you are told over, and over, and over, so I believed it. I was the eternal pessimist, the one afraid to make any type of move, the one questioning … Continue reading The Danger of Hope
Funny Story About Manners
When my ex was divorcing his 1st wife, and in the years that followed since they have a child together, she would write to him and always say Hi X, blah, blah, blah. Hope all is well. Thanks, Y. Generally, these letter would involve an issue, because the only time she would write … Continue reading Funny Story About Manners
Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
It is easy to get through a crisis in the beginning. In the beginning, everyone gathers round and holds you up. Your family drops everything to be at your side, your friends check in on you every day, your children are on their best behavior. You are surrounded by love, and you come to … Continue reading Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
I’m One Bad-Ass Chick
It's been 1 year, 329 days since my husband of 23 years came into the kitchen, looked me in the eye and said "I want a divorce. I don't love you. Would you like me to make your eggs for you?" I've come a long way since that day, yet still, 1 innocent sentence uttered … Continue reading I’m One Bad-Ass Chick
Groomed but Escaped 