Dirty John While I've accepted that I was love bombed by a covert narcissist, I still struggle with how it happened. In retrospect, everything was so clear. His actions did not match his words, he lied to everyone around him in order to see me, he went through jobs like others go through socks and … Continue reading Love Bombing
If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, there are concrete steps you can take to escape. Comparing this endeavor to climbing Mt. Everest, here is a list of steps to take to begin recovery. Using these steps to establish a new base camp for your life.
Every once in a while I find myself re-learning the importance of impenetrable boundaries when dealing with a narcissist. This week was a refresher course. It started on Monday when my ex narc claimed that his* PowerSchool** was blank, could I tell him what our son's grades were. I know - seems mighty innocuous, right? … Continue reading Impenetrable Boundaries
I have struggled with my bosses. According to my therapist, I am expecting people who have consistently demonstrated that they don't have my back, to have my back. An old pattern of mine, and the definition of crazy! This weekend was my Ovarian Cancer walk. The walk is held by a foundation I support all … Continue reading Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I was talking to an acquaintance about issues raising children, like getting them on the bus. She was having trouble with her son, and she had implemented some new rules. She said she wasn't sure if she was manipulating or managing him, and I was struck by this idea. Manipulation, in our society, has a … Continue reading Manipulation or Management
My ex, a covert narcissist, took a low paying job rather than work for more in our business. He did this just as it was time to start support negotiations. He claims he is selling our business (a restaurant) because he has to work too many hours, and he's getting too old - he needs … Continue reading The Narcissist Never Changes. Get Used to It.
Recovering from Narcissist abuse is a long term endeavor. I have developed a step program (will share later) and I still revisit some of the earlier steps. I often have to reassure myself that I am not imaging my abuse. I've been pondering lately why this is. What is it about the narcissist abuse … Continue reading Narcissists Love Play-Doh
Wow. Just......wow. 10 days ago my narc was caught lying. He lied about his income and his affairs. He stormed out of a deposition because he was confronted with evidence about his affairs. He admitted to hiding income, lying about selling our business, and withholding pertinent information. Lies on top of lies. Since he … Continue reading The Covert Narcissist & Lies
I've been looking for a new therapist (insurance change) and I stumbled upon one who seemed ideal. She takes my insurance, she deals with relationships and divorce, etc. She also had a youtube video, which I decided to watch before I called her office. The video is taken while she's speaking to an auditorium of … Continue reading Why Cheaters Cheat
Damn! I just read what I wrote the other day about the counter-offer my covert narc spouse made me. When I wrote that post I was clear that this offer was a manipulation and game playing on his part. But somewhere during the past day or two, I've become distracted. Perhaps it was my lawyer … Continue reading Stockholm Syndrome: The Narc’s Legacy