Words and Narcissistic Abuse

I didn't understand the power of words until I started recovering from narcissistic abuse.  My therapist started dissecting my language, and slowly I learned how toxic the narc (and other disordered people) are in their use of language.  I had put this issue aside until a co-worker started going through the separation/divorce process.  She started … Continue reading Words and Narcissistic Abuse

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Rage

(see update at bottom)   I grew up with people subject to rage, and then married a man who did the same thing.  Here's the thing about rage: it's all about control.  Rage is not an expression of anger, it is a show put on by a disordered person, designed to flip the script; to … Continue reading Rage

Impenetrable Boundaries

Every once in a while I find myself re-learning the importance of impenetrable boundaries when dealing with a narcissist.  This week was a refresher course. It started on Monday when my ex narc claimed that his* PowerSchool** was blank, could I tell him what our son's grades were.  I know - seems mighty innocuous, right?  … Continue reading Impenetrable Boundaries

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

I have struggled with my bosses.  According to my therapist, I am expecting people who have consistently demonstrated that they don't have my back, to have my back.  An old pattern of mine,  and the definition of crazy! This weekend was my Ovarian Cancer walk.  The walk is held by a foundation I support all … Continue reading Actions Speak Louder Than Words

The Narcissist Never Changes. Get Used to It.

My ex, a covert narcissist, took a low paying job rather than work for more in our business.  He did this just as it was time to start support negotiations.  He claims he is selling our business (a restaurant) because he has to work too many hours, and he's getting too old - he needs … Continue reading The Narcissist Never Changes. Get Used to It.

Narcissists Love Play-Doh

Recovering from Narcissist abuse is a long term endeavor.  I have developed a step program (will share later) and I still revisit some of the earlier steps.  I often have to reassure myself that I am not imaging my abuse.   I've been pondering lately why this is.  What is it about the narcissist abuse … Continue reading Narcissists Love Play-Doh

The Covert Narcissist & Lies

Wow.   Just......wow. 10 days ago my narc was caught lying.  He lied about his income and his affairs.  He stormed out of a deposition because he was confronted with evidence about his affairs.  He admitted to hiding income, lying about selling our business, and withholding pertinent information.  Lies on top of lies. Since he … Continue reading The Covert Narcissist & Lies