As a teen my family spent hours in family therapy. I was the focus, as I was the "problem". I was the 1st of my siblings to fall apart, calling attention to our family. As I deteriorated, we were all forced into increasingly awkward hourly sessions, during which my parents recounted my transgressions and called … Continue reading Stories Become History
love bombing
Divorcing a Narcissist: The Aftermath
In the US we are currently witnessing a narcissistic, powerful, wealthy man lose his status. Many have wondered if his young wife will divorce him. My children were laughing about how well off she'd be if she did divorce him. Having divorced a narcissist, I'm very aware of the price we pay, and the actual … Continue reading Divorcing a Narcissist: The Aftermath
Sex & the Covert Narcissist 2.0
I wrote Sex & the Covert Narc four years ago, and it continues to be my most often read entry. I decided it was time to update my thoughts in regards to sex. If you read my 1st blog you know that sex was one of the triggers my ex used. When I was … Continue reading Sex & the Covert Narcissist 2.0
The Permanence Of Heartbreak
(background info- my brothers beach house is next door to my mothers, and there is constant competition about who is staying with her, and she gets pretty crazy when I stay with my brother, which I do most often because, well...she's sort of crazy) Five years later there are still times I can't breathe. … Continue reading The Permanence Of Heartbreak
The Narcissistic Father
I thought I would feel vindicated when my children finally figured out their narcissistic father. Instead, I just feel sad. The younger two have known for a while who and what their dad is. Not much has changed for them. My eldest is the one I've worried about. My ex always spent the most … Continue reading The Narcissistic Father
Words and Narcissistic Abuse
I didn't understand the power of words until I started recovering from narcissistic abuse. My therapist started dissecting my language, and slowly I learned how toxic the narc (and other disordered people) are in their use of language. I had put this issue aside until a co-worker started going through the separation/divorce process. She started … Continue reading Words and Narcissistic Abuse
Be Proactive with Narcissist
I was advised, early in my divorce, to take control of the process. Close accounts, force issues, freeze assets, etc. I didn't, because I was conditioned to not threaten my narcissist. I had been taught to think that revenge would be horrible. I say conditioned because in retrospect, I can count on 1 hand the … Continue reading Be Proactive with Narcissist
The Narcissist-Four Years Later
REVENGE People say that the best revenge after divorce is to live your best life. While it's not perfect, I am definitely living the best life I've ever lived. I still struggle with my health (life long battle thanks to the steady barrage of gas lighting from my ex narc), but aside from that, … Continue reading The Narcissist-Four Years Later
Love Bombing
Dirty John While I've accepted that I was love bombed by a covert narcissist, I still struggle with how it happened. In retrospect, everything was so clear. His actions did not match his words, he lied to everyone around him in order to see me, he went through jobs like others go through socks and … Continue reading Love Bombing
Drama Feeds Narcissists
If you have children, you are familiar with the difficulty of getting them to do chores. You start calmly explaining what they need to do, they respond "sure", then wander off and turn on the TV. You wait a few minutes, convinced that they are mulling over the project and intend to get to it … Continue reading Drama Feeds Narcissists
Groomed but Escaped 