Cousins. In my area there are 18 of us, so we have had some large parties. Growing up I had a love/yuck relationship with them. As a kid I remember my cousins coming to my house for the holidays, anticipating their arrival with a mixture of excitement and dread. Each gathering could go either way … Continue reading Cousin’s Christmas
Divorce
Shame vs. Self Love
The Battle of the Shame Angel versus the Self-Love Angel begins.
Christmas + Divorce
I am approaching my 2nd Christmas post separation. Last year my family all gathered round, and kept me busy during the times my kids were with their dad. This year I am on my own, both during my time with them, and during the times they are with their dad and his GF. He's … Continue reading Christmas + Divorce
My 1st Thanksgiving & Gratitude
Yesterday was the 1st time I've hosted a holiday dinner alone. Before my marriage I lived alone and accepted others' invites, so no stress there. Once married, my ex, the Chef, did the cooking for holiday meals. Last year, the first round of holidays post separation, my parents and cousins bailed me out, my … Continue reading My 1st Thanksgiving & Gratitude
Codependency or Self-Love Deficit Disorder?
In case you haven't heard of him, Ross Rosenberg is an online guru who tackles the issues of "codependency" in relation to those in a relationship with a narcissist. He has numerous youtube videos, as well as a book called The Human Magnet Syndrome. The idea that empaths are particularly preyed upon by narcissists … Continue reading Codependency or Self-Love Deficit Disorder?
Vomitus Invitationus
My mother always says that I make friends where ever I go, and this is true. I have no trouble meeting new people, and I can become fast friends with some. In fact, I become such close friends with some that I do what I call “vomiting invitations”. I have been known to invite virtual … Continue reading Vomitus Invitationus
Where Does all the Anger Go?
I am So, So Mad. I'm mad at my ex for reeling me in, taking me down, then leaving me. I'm mad at the stupid women who engaged my ex in his narcissistic need for constant esteem boosts, believing it was my fault our marriage sucked. I'm so mad at myself for believing it was … Continue reading Where Does all the Anger Go?
Saying Goodbye To My Inner Julie
I spend a lot of time wondering how I missed it. How did I miss that the man I married didn’t love me, I wasn’t his soul mate, he didn’t like all of the same things I liked. He chose me for what I brought to the table. I was chosen to be a Nanny, … Continue reading Saying Goodbye To My Inner Julie
The Meaning Of Brave
One of my pet peeves of cancer, and a pet peeve of many cancer patients I know, is suddenly being told we are“brave”, “courageous’, a “fighter” and even a “role model”. Most other cancer patients I speak with despise these sentiments. It’s not like I Chose Cancer. I didn’t sidled up to the take out … Continue reading The Meaning Of Brave
When Therapy Fails It’s Time to Bail
Lest I sound cavalier I’ll state for the record – I Never Wanted A Divorce. I wanted a healthy, happy, supportive, productive marriage. I got none of these. After a year and ½ of separation, even though we are no closer to divorce then we were a year ago, I have become an advocate of … Continue reading When Therapy Fails It’s Time to Bail
Groomed but Escaped 