(see update at bottom) I grew up with people subject to rage, and then married a man who did the same thing. Here's the thing about rage: it's all about control. Rage is not an expression of anger, it is a show put on by a disordered person, designed to flip the script; to … Continue reading Rage
I have a good friend with whom I share many of my inner most thoughts, pretty or not. One of these thoughts was the idea that I wanted to "win" my divorce. I've decided (hopefully) that this is a very human, not at all unusual thought, especially among those who have been abused. It was … Continue reading Surviving Divorce from the Narcissist
I had a very difficult winter. If you read my blog regularly you might have noticed I stopped writing. I was struggling with a lingering virus (remember-if you are the victim of a narcissist your health is compromised), but that was not the whole story. I am increasingly aware of the long term impact of … Continue reading Long Term Impact of Narcissist
I was advised, early in my divorce, to take control of the process. Close accounts, force issues, freeze assets, etc. I didn't, because I was conditioned to not threaten my narcissist. I had been taught to think that revenge would be horrible. I say conditioned because in retrospect, I can count on 1 hand the … Continue reading Be Proactive with Narcissist
Strange story - in the last episode of the Connor's Jackie figured out that her boyfriend was cheating on her, and she kicked him to the curb. Watching this took me down memory lane. Everything he says to her is something my ex said to me. Things like: if you accuse me of cheating you're … Continue reading Cheaters & Liars
Just a quick thought for the holidays....... I used to get super stressed about Christmas. I wanted so badly for it to be perfect that by the time the day was there I was sick. Every single year. And every year my (now) ex would look at me, a puzzled look on his … Continue reading It’s All About The Guest List
I returned from a solo trip to Mexico 5 days ago. I went to be part of the Dia De Los Muertos celebrations (day of the dead). It turned out that this celebration was the least impactful part of the trip. I've been struggling to put into words what I discovered, but how do … Continue reading Finding Myself in Silence
Often the most dangerous part of climbing Mt Everest is the descent. By the time the climber begins her descent she is exhausted yet exhilarated. This is a dangerous combination. On the one hand the climber feels invincible. On the other hand, she is really too tired and overwhelmed with emotion to make rational choices. … Continue reading Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse
If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, there are concrete steps you can take to escape. Comparing this endeavor to climbing Mt. Everest, here is a list of steps to take to begin recovery. Using these steps to establish a new base camp for your life.
If you'd like to watch how life with a narcissists goes, watch the movie Mother! It is difficult to watch because it is so crazy, but it a great representation of how, and why, someone can be trapped by a narcissist. Happy Labor Day weekend!