I received the transcript from my spouse's deposition today, and I started reading it. I was floored on the 1st page, when he spoke about how our divorce came about. I remember the moment as if it happened yesterday. It is forever seared into my brain. It was 9:20AM. I was in the kitchen preparing … Continue reading Cancer Saved My Life
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How to Lose Your Home To A Narcissist
Here I sit, on the precipice of a new year, and all I can think is What The Fuck?? How did I get here? How did I become the one people whisper about in the grocery store. “Oh, you remember her, she’s about to lose her house, and I know...it makes no sense. How did … Continue reading How to Lose Your Home To A Narcissist
Time
Never have I been more confused about my feeling of time than the past 3 years. Did that happen yesterday or last year? Did I say that today or last week? It's as if the time chip in my brain is on the fritz. I keep searching for it, going round and round in my … Continue reading Time
Breaking Up With My Oncologist
I've decided to ditch my oncologist (gyn/oc = gynecological oncologist). The protocol for high grade serous epithelial stage 3B ovarian cancer is 5 years of follow-ups. During those 5 year Dr's are supposed to see you every 3 months, draw a CA125 every 3 months and, if there is a rise in the CA 125 … Continue reading Breaking Up With My Oncologist
Future Events Appearing Real
FEAR Future Events Appearing Real When my ex first left I was terrified. He'd spent over 20 years putting me down in a way I didn't understand. When he left I felt helpless and doomed. As has been the case in my adult years, my parents showed up. My father, who I've never … Continue reading Future Events Appearing Real
Lies Don’t Work Here Anymore
I've been looking into private schools for my 14 year old, who is struggling academically. Last night my eldest started chiding me for this. He said "the problem is that we just aren't as smart as you think we are. We are like dad - we don't think much. We are simple people". My first … Continue reading Lies Don’t Work Here Anymore
Groomed but Escaped 