I've been looking into private schools for my 14 year old, who is struggling academically. Last night my eldest started chiding me for this. He said "the problem is that we just aren't as smart as you think we are. We are like dad - we don't think much. We are simple people". My first … Continue reading Lies Don’t Work Here Anymore
children
The Unaccountable Accountant
Getting divorced is complicated, especially when you are in a situation like mine. My ex and I own a restaurant together. Over the years, as my health worsened, my role decreased and his increased. In the 4 or 5 years before our separation I had little to do with the business, leaving decisions, management and … Continue reading The Unaccountable Accountant
Sidestepping the Pain
I don't want to write about pain anymore. Yes, I am in pain. Every time I think it's gone, it resurfaces, and I wallow. And I'm so, so tired of it! If the only way out is through it, I guess I won't get out, because I'm not going through it anymore. I'm going to … Continue reading Sidestepping the Pain
My Brain on Trauma
This is hard for me to write, hard for me to say, hard for me to admit. I am a perpetual victim. Of my own making. I knew I didn't handle stressful situations well, but I had no idea that I respond to situations like a victim. Before I tell you what happened, I … Continue reading My Brain on Trauma
Are You Saying It’s My Fault?
One of the major issues I had raising children with my narc was his inability to look at himself critically. As the Chosen One of a Narc, I am excessively good at looking at myself critically. Ask me, at any random point in any random day, and I will come up with 20 Major Flaws … Continue reading Are You Saying It’s My Fault?
Enough
Remember the scene in Love Actually when Mark, who's in love with his best friends wife, Juliet, tells her, via signs, that he is moving on? As he walks away, he says "enough", and it is clear that he has turned the corner. He is done wallowing, he is over pining away for her. Today, … Continue reading Enough
Snow, Single Mothers’, Alzheimer’s & Guilt
The largest blizzard I ever lived through was in 1996. I was 7 months pregnant, lived with my ex, our 3 year old, and my 7 year old step son. We lived in a twin on a block made up of other twins, most of which were filled with young children. It was a great … Continue reading Snow, Single Mothers’, Alzheimer’s & Guilt
Volunteer or Martyr?
I have spent alot of time volunteering, because I coached two of my boys in a program called Odyssey of the Mind (OM). Google it if you've never heard of it; it's an amazing experience for students. There were times that I was resentful of what was required of me. Meetings were held at my … Continue reading Volunteer or Martyr?
Groomed but Escaped 