"We are getting divorced and you need to decide who you want to live with". This was the opening statement from my father during a "family meeting". My three siblings immediately said they wanted to go with him. I have no idea what I said. By this age (early tween) I was an expert at … Continue reading The Intentionality of Narcissistic Rage
cancer
Life After Long Term Narcissistic Abuse
I spent 24 with a covert narcissist. This was after growing up with a covert narcissist and an alcoholic. I am 6 years, 3 months from the date my covert narc moved out, and I believe I am now in the final stage of recovery. Of course I thought I was in the last … Continue reading Life After Long Term Narcissistic Abuse
Survivors Guilt
One more lost........one more young, vibrant, involved, lovely girl, lost to Ovarian Cancer. She is one of - I've lost count of the number we've lost this year. Women who have worked so hard to fight not just for themselves but for all of us. For all Women. These are girls who have started major … Continue reading Survivors Guilt
Divorcing a Narcissist – Ultimate Cluster***k
This is for one of my BFF's, who is taking the initial steps towards divorcing her narc. HANG IN THERE! Remember when I brought enough alcohol for 3 of us to the ball field, then drank it all myself and your son had to drive me home? Remember me crying when he stopped … Continue reading Divorcing a Narcissist – Ultimate Cluster***k
Revenge
It took about 1 year for me to realize I had been married to, and was now divorcing, a covert narcissist. Memories flooded back. I had a hard time figuring out where to put the feelings, heartbreak and regret; hence this blog. At one point I wrote The Tractor. It was partially autobiographical but mostly … Continue reading Revenge
The Weight Of Cancer
As a 5 year survivor of late stage Ovarian Cancer I am often approached by family members of people recently diagnosed with a deadly cancer. I've been searching for an image of how it feels to be diagnosed with a deadly disease, and the best I can come up with is a barbell. I was … Continue reading The Weight Of Cancer
Capitalism, Cancer and Outrage
This morning my FaceBook feed alerted me to Sephora's new program, designed to benefit cancer patients. During a 6 minute video they show bald, scared, suffering women, getting makeup and skin care tips, then walking through the store being shown products by a Sephora employee. Credits roll. Women rejoice. Wait....... Right after my 1st round … Continue reading Capitalism, Cancer and Outrage
De Dia De Los Muertos
While in Mexico I fell in love with the statues and mannequins that represent Dia De Los Muertos. My children were aghast when I said I wanted a full size mannequin for my dining room. "Mom, that's morbid" they exclaimed. When I looked at these mannequins though, I saw nothing morbid about them. In fact, … Continue reading De Dia De Los Muertos
Survivors Guilt
How It Really Feels to Advocate If you were to look at my Facebook feed, or my instagram page, you might get the impression I love advocating for ovarian cancer awareness. You might also think that I am somewhat successful in my efforts, I have faithful supporters and it is my life's ambition to … Continue reading Survivors Guilt
Parents Say the Darnedest Things
Parenthood brings many surprises. In addition to the fact that you can go days at a time without sleep and those D cup boobs aren't as fun as you thought they'd be, you find yourself engaged in activities you never knew existed. Between my 3 biological sons and 1 stepson, I've spent time marveling (& … Continue reading Parents Say the Darnedest Things
Groomed but Escaped 