Human Doormat Syndrome I suffer from Human Doormat Syndrome (HDS). I'm thinking of starting a recovery program for fellow sufferers. Like AA, we could come together in a circle, take turns saying "Hi. I'm MurphyCee and I am a Human Doormat". Then we could share our stories of how we've willingly allowed others to … Continue reading Why I Stayed with My Covert Narcissist
awakening
Human Pathology Detector
I am a Human Pathology Detector. I have found that if someone is psychologically normal, or healthy, I am automatically put on guard. I feel awkward, shy and inept around them. I don't want to spend time with them, and I will go out of my way to avoid them. If, however, some one is … Continue reading Human Pathology Detector
The Danger of Hope
Hope In Moderation My ex used to call me Debbie Downer. He claimed that I always rained on his parade. It's hard not to believe things you are told over, and over, and over, so I believed it. I was the eternal pessimist, the one afraid to make any type of move, the one questioning … Continue reading The Danger of Hope
Funny Story About Manners
When my ex was divorcing his 1st wife, and in the years that followed since they have a child together, she would write to him and always say Hi X, blah, blah, blah. Hope all is well. Thanks, Y. Generally, these letter would involve an issue, because the only time she would write … Continue reading Funny Story About Manners
Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
It is easy to get through a crisis in the beginning. In the beginning, everyone gathers round and holds you up. Your family drops everything to be at your side, your friends check in on you every day, your children are on their best behavior. You are surrounded by love, and you come to … Continue reading Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
My Story
What I Thought Happened I met my narc in 1988. I worked with him for 6 months, during which time I came to see him as a total dick. He treated me and other employees terribly. He was rude, sullen, uncooperative and unavailable, until he needed me for something. Once he realized I could help … Continue reading My Story
Are We Victims?
I had my 2nd EMDR session on Tuesday. As successful as the 1st one was, the 2nd one was equally unsuccessful. The week before I felt able to share freely, I held nothing back, and what I shared was genuine and authentic to me. This week, it felt forced. I felt like I was reaching … Continue reading Are We Victims?
I’m One Bad-Ass Chick
It's been 1 year, 329 days since my husband of 23 years came into the kitchen, looked me in the eye and said "I want a divorce. I don't love you. Would you like me to make your eggs for you?" I've come a long way since that day, yet still, 1 innocent sentence uttered … Continue reading I’m One Bad-Ass Chick
Truth Eliminates Confusion
What a simple but profound premise! I get daily emails from a FB group called the Brave Girls Club. The purpose of the site, and the emails, is to empower women who don't feel very powerful. Today's email said, in part, "Truth feels good and peaceful and warm, even when the truth is a … Continue reading Truth Eliminates Confusion
Dating After Divorce
Every once in a while I think about dating. Actually, I think about being in a relationship - not dating. I've never been a dater. I'm a relationship girl. I had 2 long term relationships before my marriage. Before, and in between those relationship I went on as few dates as possible. The only … Continue reading Dating After Divorce
Groomed but Escaped 