The Covert Narcissist

As I learn more about the characteristics of Narcissists (narc’s) I find I’m looking more carefully at the people in my life.  As I look I see several full blow narc’s, the worse of which are the covert narcissists; the one’s who swear they have only my best interest at heart.  Some examples of narcissistic behaviors that have definitely colored my experiences in life.

Some behaviors I’ve come to realize are examples of narcissistic behavior include:

  • overuse of the word BUT.  Every apologize is following with a but, which effectively negates the apology, yet the Narc will maintain that the apology was made.
  • the constant comparison to others, in which I am always found to be less then for some reason.
  • the relentless accusation that I am “over-reacting”, “too sensitive”,  “paranoid” or “need to talk to someone”
  • over-use of the statement “everything I do I do for you”
  • the accusation that I have caused their bad behavior
  • they are the perpetual victim.


Some examples are harder to pinpoint.  Or maybe just harder for me to pinpoint.  I have tons of examples in which I felt I was being put down, but when asked if that was the intent I’m told I’m misunderstanding.


I used to pride myself on my intuition, but I now see that my intuition meter has run dry.   After 23 years of “misunderstanding”, “over-reacting” or being told I was just flat out crazy, has left me bewildered and confused about everything that goes on around me.  It has also left me wanting to be alone.  Every time I leave my house I have to interpret what is happening around me.  Did that person mean to put me down or was that a compliment?  Is that person friend or foe?   I am safe or in the danger zone?   I feel helpless.


I spent my teenage years hitch hiking up and down the east coast, and I was always fairly sure my “intuition” would guide me in terms of staying safe, not getting into the wrong car.  It seems like it worked then.  After all, I’m alive, not a 48 hours mystery.  Was I actually highly intuitive at that time and the years have shut my intuition down?  Or was the thought that I was intuitive just an illusion all along?  I have no idea!


Come back to me intuition!  I need you to move forward!





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