I have 23 years of a relationship with a covert narcissist (CN) to dissect, and the question I keep asking my therapist is "are you sure?" How can you be sure he really is a CN, and I'm not just re-writing our story? What proof do you have that I didn't deserve to be treated … Continue reading Beginnings & Endings: Clues to Narcissism
children
Runaway Mom
Being a mom is a relentless, thankless job. I am happy I have children, I always love them, I am often very proud of them, and sometimes I even like them. But Damn. I left my career when my 3rd son was 6 months old. I tried going back to work, but I was just … Continue reading Runaway Mom
Parenting after Abuse
I've been Netflixing the show Parenthood. I started watching because I no longer have cable, there was nothing on the main stations, and I love Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls. Halfway through the 1st episode I was hooked. If I'm not writing, taking care of my home/kids or doing yoga/therapy/meditation, I'm watching Parenthood. For … Continue reading Parenting after Abuse
The Upside of Tantrums
Rage on you Tiny Children I just read a blog from a young mother troubled about dealing with her youngest child's tantrums. As is so often the case, many tantrums happen in public, and are embarrassing to parents. It is difficult to know how to deal with them, especially when we are surrounded by … Continue reading The Upside of Tantrums
Future Events Appearing Real
FEAR Future Events Appearing Real When my ex first left I was terrified. He'd spent over 20 years putting me down in a way I didn't understand. When he left I felt helpless and doomed. As has been the case in my adult years, my parents showed up. My father, who I've never … Continue reading Future Events Appearing Real
Taxes & Divorce
While we've been separated for close to 2 years, my ex and I are not close to being divorced. We own a business together, so our finances are not transparent, making divorce very complicated. I intended to file taxes single this year. My original intent was to make sure my son received the maximum amount … Continue reading Taxes & Divorce
Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
It is easy to get through a crisis in the beginning. In the beginning, everyone gathers round and holds you up. Your family drops everything to be at your side, your friends check in on you every day, your children are on their best behavior. You are surrounded by love, and you come to … Continue reading Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
My Story
What I Thought Happened I met my narc in 1988. I worked with him for 6 months, during which time I came to see him as a total dick. He treated me and other employees terribly. He was rude, sullen, uncooperative and unavailable, until he needed me for something. Once he realized I could help … Continue reading My Story
I’m One Bad-Ass Chick
It's been 1 year, 329 days since my husband of 23 years came into the kitchen, looked me in the eye and said "I want a divorce. I don't love you. Would you like me to make your eggs for you?" I've come a long way since that day, yet still, 1 innocent sentence uttered … Continue reading I’m One Bad-Ass Chick
Truth Eliminates Confusion
What a simple but profound premise! I get daily emails from a FB group called the Brave Girls Club. The purpose of the site, and the emails, is to empower women who don't feel very powerful. Today's email said, in part, "Truth feels good and peaceful and warm, even when the truth is a … Continue reading Truth Eliminates Confusion
Groomed but Escaped 