Begin Again – Without Judgement

  1. the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way

This is the state of my life.  It seems like every time I turn around something new is happening that is beneficial and unforeseen.  This morning was a great example.

My son’s GF just accepted a job with Jade Yoga.  Jade Yoga makes the best yoga mats available (actually rated as such by Sports Illustrated!).  They are also right down the street from me.

I met the owner of Jade through my son.  My son and his friends walked in there one day and asked him for a donation for the cancer walk we do.  Not only did he give them a donation, he sponsored the event!!   When we went to pick up the very generous check I met the owner and was immediately smitten.  (Not in a-hey I want to jump your bones way, as he is married.)

He is the sort of guy I want my boys to be.  He is intelligent, generous and aware, and his mission is to do good in our world.   Before taking over the family business he practiced Environmental Law.  And, he’s not hard on the eyes – not that this is important, just saying.

About a month ago he posted a Customer Service Rep job on FB.  I sent the posting to my son’s GF.  She is a perfect match to him.  They both have the same ideals but as laid back as he is, she is firecracker.  She had learned all about him and his company before the interview and had ideas to bring to the table.  She listened to his mission and swooned.  (Again – not in a sexual way!).  She is Vegan, a Yogi, a believer in all things natural and all things American.  While I am watching the Real Housewives of Orange County she’s watching documentaries.  She is exactly who I want my son to be with – a conscious, energetic, insightful person who wants to impact our world in a positive way.  Needless to say, she got the job.

As soon as she found out she texted me and we started talking about all her great ideas.  It was really exciting.  The next day I went for a hike with one of my favorite yoga teachers.  She told me some of her ideas and said she would love to work with them, and asked to meet her.

To bring the two of them together I had to attend Roof Top Yoga at our local Whole Foods.  This is not my thing.  I love yoga – indoors.  I don’t want the sun beating down on me and I never know if I’ll have trouble breathing, so I’ve never been to roof top yoga.  Today I went, only to make sure the two of them met and started talking.

It was a cool day and I was breathing well so I took the class.

If you are a parent you know that you have to say the same things, over and over, to your children before the message actually sinks in.  Often the message doesn’t sink in until they’ve grown and left you.  One thing is certain though – you must say things more than once for your children to learn them.  I used to think this was particular to children and employees, but today I realized it is the same for all of us.

The teacher’s message today was Begin Again.  A very simple concept, right?  All of our lives are spent beginning again. In fact, it is beginning again that leaves us frustrated and angry.  Or it leaves me frustrated and angry!

I know I’ve heard this message before, but today I heard the second part:

Without Judgement

I have embraced the fact that all our lives we are repeating what we thought we had a handle on.  Especially during the past 3 years I’ve acknowledged the fact that as happy and competent as I am today, I am likely to be equally unhappy & incompetent tomorrow.  Life is cyclical, not a straight line.  One step forward, two steps back.

What made “begin again” so difficult was what it paired with:  self judgement.  Each time I’ve had to repeat  a lesson I thought I’d mastered I chided myself.  Outwardly I might say “well, this is life” and pretend I was “chill”, but inside my head I’d be saying “what is wrong with you?  You’ve done this before, you’ve got this, what the hell is the problem”.  While I was able to Begin Again, I was not able to do so without judging myself.

I hated myself for getting emotional, being sad, being tired or annoyed.  I thought that all of the problems I face in life are the same as everyone else, and all I need do is Begin Again; not over-react, not make a big deal about things.  I knew that part.  Today I learned Part Two:  With no Judgement.

Hence, the serendipity.

My son’s GF has been trying to get me to attend these classes for 2 years.  I finally went today because she got a job with a company I adore, and I wanted her to meet the yoga teacher.  I only practiced because the weather was right and I was feeling ok.  There were a number of things that had to happen to get me to this class.

As I was packing up I was talking to some of my “tribe” about the concept of “begin again, without judgement”.  I remarked that this was such a simple concept yet exactly what I need right now.  I then questioned why I hadn’t been taught this before.  That is when it hit me:  I’ve been taught this more times than I can count.  I just wasn’t ready to embrace it.  Like my children, everything had to build up to bring me to the place in which I understood the message:

Begin Again, Without Judgement

As I pack my house (did I told you I finally sold!!!!) I am plastering this phrase all over.  Why?  Because I don’t know where I”m going.  Am I packing to store and finding a temporary place for my son and I, or am I packing to move into a new place?  I have no idea!  It is actually quite terrifying.  So the most important thing for me to do, right now, is to wake up every day and Begin Again, Without Judgement.

How about that, huh?

3 thoughts on “Begin Again – Without Judgement

  1. It is ok for you to be all over the place. You have had a cheating husband, a serious illness and a move so if you have good days or bad days you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. There is always change. Just begin again. You’ve got this!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love it Murphy! Thank you! 🙂

    And CONGRATULATIONS ON SELLING THAT HOUSE!!!! 😀 Now go find your ‘forever home’ that you LOVE! 🙂 Good for you girl! 🙂 You GOT THIS!


    Liked by 2 people

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