It is easy to get through a crisis in the beginning. In the beginning, everyone gathers round and holds you up. Your family drops everything to be at your side, your friends check in on you every day, your children are on their best behavior. You are surrounded by love, and you come to … Continue reading Crisis or Long Haul: Which is Worse?
What I Thought Happened I met my narc in 1988. I worked with him for 6 months, during which time I came to see him as a total dick. He treated me and other employees terribly. He was rude, sullen, uncooperative and unavailable, until he needed me for something. Once he realized I could help … Continue reading My Story
I had my 2nd EMDR session on Tuesday. As successful as the 1st one was, the 2nd one was equally unsuccessful. The week before I felt able to share freely, I held nothing back, and what I shared was genuine and authentic to me. This week, it felt forced. I felt like I was reaching … Continue reading Are We Victims?
It's been 1 year, 329 days since my husband of 23 years came into the kitchen, looked me in the eye and said "I want a divorce. I don't love you. Would you like me to make your eggs for you?" I've come a long way since that day, yet still, 1 innocent sentence uttered … Continue reading I’m One Bad-Ass Chick
What a simple but profound premise! I get daily emails from a FB group called the Brave Girls Club. The purpose of the site, and the emails, is to empower women who don't feel very powerful. Today's email said, in part, "Truth feels good and peaceful and warm, even when the truth is a … Continue reading Truth Eliminates Confusion
Every once in a while I think about dating. Actually, I think about being in a relationship - not dating. I've never been a dater. I'm a relationship girl. I had 2 long term relationships before my marriage. Before, and in between those relationship I went on as few dates as possible. The only … Continue reading Dating After Divorce
I chose the word overcoming because I just realized the extent to which I've been marginalized by my ex narc. Marginalized is also a strong word, and I have included it quite deliberately, because when you read the definition, "the process whereby someone is pushed to the edge of a group and accorded less importance", … Continue reading Overcoming Parenting with A Narcissist
The 1st time I had dinner at my ex's home I was surprised. My ex bragged about his father constantly. According to him, his father was his idol. He was a perfect father, husband, employee and Deacon. He was always on the go, leaving at 7AM for work, stopping home for a 15 minute dinner … Continue reading Dinner With The Covert Narc
The glassblower knows: while in the heat of beginning, any shape is possible. Once hardened, the only way to change is to break. The Book of Awakening, Mark Nepo That is the opening passage for February 19. I am much further along in the book (started reading it daily last April) so I'm not even sure … Continue reading Instead of Breaking
Recovering from narcissistic abuse requires knowledge. You have to understand what you were up against, how you got there, why you are so confused, what is real and what is not, and where to go from here. Some of my favorite resources are: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201412/is-your-partner-narcissist-here-are-50-ways-tell http://ladywithatruck.com/the-3-phases-of-a-relationship-with-a-narcisist/ http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/yourmentalhealth/2015/10/15/recovering-from-narcissistic-abuse-without-validation/ http://relationshipedia.me/ http://www.narcissismaddictionsabuse.com/index.html http://thenarcissisticlife.com/victims-of-npd-relationships-stages-of-recovery/ http://christinehammondcounseling.com/2015/01/13/how-narcissists-use-money-to-abuse/ https://www.psychopathfree.com/content.php?298-Working-Through-Rage-After-Abuse https://www.psychotherapy.net/article/complex-ptsd#section-emotional-neglect:-a-primary-cause-of-complex-ptsd? http://counsellingresource.com/features/2009/02/24/shame-guilt-neurotic-manipulation/ … Continue reading My Go-To Sites: Education is the Key